So w/BPD has stonewalled walled our son and myself

[Wolve19]

2 months ago our son was suspended from school. And before that we raised our

granddaughter from birth because our daughter was in rehabilitation. Even though I suggested that it would be to tough and hard on our rocky relationship we had already, she insisted and held everything together . But when son was suspended she snapped. She is living a dual life it seems. She has started hanging out with friend from work who we both know is unfaithful. Now so/w/BPD is shutting the people who love and care about her the most out 

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Mutt]

Hi Wolve19, 



I'd like to welcome you to  bpdfamily. I'm sorry that you're going this. It's a terrible feeling when someone shuts us out. Do you have an update on so/w/BPD?

[heartandwhole]

Hi Wolve19,



I'd like to join    Mutt and welcome you to the site. It sounds like your family is going through a really stressful time right now. That is so hard, and tends to trigger dysfunctional coping mechanisms in many of us, especially someone with an emotional disorder. I'm sorry you are going through this.

You've found a great place for support, though; I'm glad you reached out. So many of our members have been in similar situations and understand what you are going through.

Do you have other family or a therapist who are supportive right now? It's very important to shore up your support system during times like these. I know it's hard when you have children and lots going on. That's why I'm glad you reached out to us here.

How do things stand right now?

Keep writing, it helps. We're here for you. 

heartandwhole

[Wolve19]

Everything is still same have not looked for support other then here. But, some days I can see SO/w/BPD coming out of silence then goes right back in. Says everything well be OK. SO/w/BPD does take meds , but  don't think been taking In past when So/w/BPD has stopped taking became very up and down in mood. It is killing me to see SO/w/BPD go through this ,but cannot help because we are shut out.

[Mutt]

Hi Wolve19,

The good news is she's getting a little better and she reassured you. Its been 8 weeks since your son has been suspended. You know SO/w/BPD better than me, has she reacted this way in the past? Please correct me if I'm wrong, it sounds like a depressive mood.

This is my guess, a pwBPD have low self worth and low self esteem, she's taking the suspension personally, it looks on her. When she starts to come out if it, what does she say? Maybe there's something that you can validate? A pwBPD need a lot validation.

[Wolve19]

The reassurance pw/BPD gives is good. And you are right about suspension reflecting on her. Constantly saying she was never this way . In past when situations were tense we talked . She was never like this . It is hard to validate actions and be empathetic when pw/BPD won't be upfront. Don't want to validate the unvalitable
 actions.