Happiness

[troisette]

It's a beautiful morning here, the sun is beaming on the sea, cold crisp weather and clear blue sky. I have family visiting and also I'm dog sitting for the day. I took the dog for a walk on the beach and suddenly I had an overwhelming feeling of happiness.

The first time for a couple of years.

I am not fully detached, my ex remains like a ghost of a memory and I am still wary of his manipulations.

I wanted to post this, to let you know that bubbling happiness is possible - even when not fully detached.

Have a good day everyone!

[Fie]

Thank you for taking the time to share your happiness with us. It makes me happy, too   

[heartandwhole]

Wonderful reminder, troisette 

It's great when we can get out of our heads for a minute and just experience the fullness of life. There are so many unnoticed treasures waiting for us, if we can relax our grip and let them in.

Thanks for sharing!

heartandwhole

[valet]

That's good to hear, troisette.

I've been having similar thoughts myself this past week. In a lot of ways I feel like a big part of this is over and done, and that I am becoming 'new' again, so to speak.

Keep the train moving! 

[Pretty Woman]

Troisette,
  Thank you for sharing this. I have read many of your posts through the years and you are very insightful.

I had one of these moments last fall. I was walking with my new puppy. The leaves were falling and she was playing with them as we walked. It was a nice "Indian Summer" day and I just remember how quiet and calm everything was. I really enjoyed just walking with my dog... .no drama, no arguing. It was the first time in a long time I felt content and knew everything would be ok.


I think the hardest part about the end of these relationships is we become addicted to the drama. We feed it. That is what I had a hard time letting go of... .it became the norm, the push/pull insanity.

Last night was my GF's parents last night in town visiting. We went to dinner with her mom, dad and sister and just had a great time. I come from a broken home and have always craved having "family", playing board games and cooking together. Making crafts and just spending quality time with loved ones. I had a calm, peaceful Thanksgiving holiday with some people I am coming to love and it was wonderful. What I had with my ex was her sister trying to break us up and get me fired, her mother playing "master manipulator" in the situation and insulting me and my ex breaking up with me before each holiday telling me how terrible I was and how I didn't deserve to be loved.

Night and Day. I would take my current situation over my past any day of the week now.

[Hisaccount]

The first time for a couple of years.

I am not fully detached, my ex remains like a ghost of a memory and I am still wary of his manipulations.

I would like to say that is just depressing as hell.
LOL I am just starting my journey, I hate that it might take a couple years but it is encouraging that it does happen.


Thank you.

[troisette]

Please don't be disheartened Hisaccount.

Our ex's are different and so are we. Depends on our vulnerability, our age, our history. My two years included the tail end of the  relationship. And my wariness is increased by the close proximity of my ex. Your story will be different from mine and it may not be as long until you experience that happiness.

Thank you Pretty Woman. Yes, it is wonderful when you experience lightness and peace of mind. A reminder of what life used to be. I also had a drama fuelled childhood and I repeated that with my three major relationships, all with PDs. The "normality" we absorb by osmosis in our FOO is not a good and healthy template for adult life.

Your experiences with ex sound horrible. Of course everyone deserves to be loved and no one, no one, has the right to make such a judgement and then voice it with intent to harm. I've generally found in life that people who are deliberately cruel to other people get their just desserts in the end and it's good to walk away from such people. In groups, if the victim walks away, the participants will find another. Scapegoats serve a purpose to group dynamics.

I'm surprised at how I am beginning to integrate the proximity of my ex in my daily life. I never thought I would. I'm accepting that he's always going to be around and I need the skills and detachment to deal.

 

[Dutched]

Thanks Troisette!

Never shared those moments in fact.

Well I made some good deeds and that gives one a good feeling too. 

A local foundation initiated a ‘wish list’ for kids on which 
As Christmas presents, I donated to a local Foundation toys for kids (who can post their wish list on a site) who’s parents can’t afford that much due to circumstances
.
Collecting these toys, like Knex and Playmobil and a Sony Move with games, from the attic, I remembered the time kids played with it and imagined the joy on the faces of the kids who will get it now.

Hisaccount

It is OK that is depressing, that is a healthy way to heal.
Take is day by day. Try to enjoy the smallest  things first!
So sit down with your coffee and really enjoy the taste.
Take time to make yourself a good dinner and eat it at the dining table, not in front of the TV…
Reward yourself when you accomplished a task that looked like an mountain before.
 

[lovenature]

Great post troisette, it reminds us to enjoy the simple things in life, stop to smell the roses, be thankful for what we have instead of looking at what we don't which is so common for todays generation.

I love animals, people can learn from them if they are willing to let go of their ego and see what is truly important.

[bus boy]

That is great to hear. It is a beautiful cool morning, the water is like glass, the wood smoke is pouring out of my chimney. It's like a winter wonder land. Thank you very much for sharing. You deserve this moment.