What do you do when you have no money left?

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Hey everyone who's been replying to me,

I'll keep this post short.  I'm still being hit with 80% of all costs, plus all of my legal fees, plus forensic accountant fees, plus full payment for psych evals +++.

My uBPDx's lawyer has been manipulating my small business income since this nightmare started.

I just got a $9500 USD invoice from my forensic accountant and he hasn't even been to court.


Long story short - duck this.  We haven't even gone to "mediation" (How am I supposed to negotiate with a drug addict uBPD that wants sole custody and $3000/month).


Are there any resources available for people that are just getting absolutely railroaded by this insane system?  Is there any organization or anything I can do to stop this? 

I've been absolutely decimated and we're not even half way through.  The craziest part is I have 100% custody and not one "professional" in this system has even mentioned child support from the Mother.

Am I at the point where I run?  And if I run, do I leave my son behind with this person... .god knows what will happen to him.


Any suggestions on how to make a quick exit that doesn't leave me ducked for the next 20 years are greatly appreciated. 

[Duck_Borders]

Hey everyone who's been replying to me,

I'll keep this post short.  I'm still being hit with 80% of all costs, plus all of my legal fees, plus forensic accountant fees, plus full payment for psych evals +++.

My uBPDx's lawyer has been manipulating my small business income since this nightmare started.

I just got a $9500 USD invoice from my forensic accountant and he hasn't even been to court.


Long story short - duck this.  We haven't even gone to "mediation" (How am I supposed to negotiate with a drug addict uBPD that wants sole custody and $3000/month).


Are there any resources available for people that are just getting absolutely railroaded by this insane system?  Is there any organization or anything I can do to stop this? 

I've been absolutely decimated and we're not even half way through.  The craziest part is I have 100% custody and not one "professional" in this system has even mentioned child support from the Mother.

Am I at the point where I run?  And if I run, do I leave my son behind with this person... .god knows what will happen to him.


Any suggestions on how to make a quick exit that doesn't leave me ducked for the next 20 years are greatly appreciated. 

[david]

Not sure if this helps but you already have 100% custody so why are you paying money for things you don't need. Can't you just stop. If you stop then, if I am thinking correctly, ex would have to take over the financial part in order to change the custody arrangement. Otherwise things stay the same.

[Herodias]

I know what you mean, it seems like it never ends and it seems unfair. It is like the one who appears to have more money is the one they take from... .it doesn't matter who is at fault. I think you just inform your lawyer of the situation and hope you have a really smart one who is good at finding faults with the other side. My ex keeps playing poor and they seems to believe him. Now he is suing me and at this point, I am waiting for him to fold his hands since his lawyer said he knows he can't win this one! I am trying to get him to pay me back... .As long as he was playing broke, they believed him! It's not even true! All I know is, you have to keep going until it's done and even if you are done, your ex may not be and it starts again. I swear, I am never getting married again, this is ridiculous! I would suggest you are going to ask for child support from her if you think that will scare her off. You basically need to manipulate them back... .I think sometimes the lawyers are smarter than we realize and we have to let them do their jobs. I know how you feel though, I can't afford this anymore as well. You do get what you pay for though... My ex paid allot less than me and he has a young lawyer that  doesn't know what he is doing at all. I actually feel that his lawyer is learning the law on my dime! I just want this done as you do I am sure. Sorry I don't have an answer. Good luck... .

[ForeverDad]

My Ex always seemed to be able to do her worst regardless of her finances.

Some here decided to go pro se and not have a full time attorney, just used them for hourly rate legal advice or proofing forms, submissions, responses and court appearances.  The point is that you'd don't have to give up or give in just because of money.  You can always pull back the expenditures while still pursuing your case.

As I recall, you have a problem where you're claimed to be rich, it may take time, paperwork or a hearing in court to convince them otherwise.

[Duck_Borders]

Thanks for the replies everyone.

I only have 100% temporary custody, and we're already mediating giving my son's mother overnights.  My lawyer, the GAL, and the psych evaluator all feel that we need to give my ex enough rope to hang herself with and that she won't mess up while she fells that people are watching her.  She's already made a follow up appointment at a Dr.'s appointment into a nightmare, so she is already slipping up.  Everyone except her lawyer cannot stand her. 

The big problem is everyone knows I have no money, so they are all trying to find the fastest way out of this case.  My issue is I need to get back home.  I cannot relocate my entire life 3500 miles from home.  IF I were to relocate I'd literally be starting from scratch, with not a great education and no money (or energy) to start another company.

Her lawyer is young, but a pretty good lawyer and his firm has a couple very experienced senior lawyers.  They are all suing me as if I make 6 figures/year, when in reality I only make $23,000.  I'm spending more money than I make per year, just to pay forensic accountants to prove that I have no money.  All while my son's Mother is paying next to nothing as she plays the victim. 

I'm reaching a point where giving up is a serious thought.  It would be terrible for my son, but I don't know how I could even provide a decent life for him in a different country with no friends/family/network. 

If I do give up, they'll ruin my life back home as well though... .so I'm pretty much ducked if I do and ducked if I don't.  If I leave, at least I can have some peace.

[ForeverDad]

You've held on for this long, a little longer can't hurt.  And look, "I only have 100% temporary custody, and we're already mediating giving my son's mother overnights."  You are in a far stronger position now than I ever have been in.  Yes, it's been a tough road but you've accomplished so much more than most here ever have.  Ponder that.

I'm concerned, how can you conceive of walking away from such success when before too long the financial issues will be resolved?  Please, please, don't sabotage yourself.  Remember the old saying, The night is darkest just before dawn.