Ex-wife stalks my sister

[bus boy]

Xw always hated my sister and my mother but especially my sister. A couple of times in the past my sister tried to reach out to xw but xw was dead set against any dialogue to settle the mystery of why she hated my sister. My sister finely said she was done trying. Xw viciousness was inhuman especially after my sister said she had enough and put my than wife out of her life. 9 years separated and xw hates my sister more than ever, my sister pays xw no mind, ignores her but xw is relentless in her pursuit. She gives my sister the finger, drives by her house daily, stalks her in the mall, waits for my sister to come out of the store and follows her around town. A couple of weeks ago she was following my sister around the grocery store and verbally assaulting her. What's up with this behaviour?  My sister and her family have nothing to do with xw, they go about life and pay no attention to xw.

[gotbushels]

Hi bus boy 

I'm interested to see what other people have to say about this. I'm not familiar with this kind of behaviour from pwBPDs. The only thing that comes to mind right now is the somewhat childish way of handling conflict by your xw toward your sister. I do think that the way arguments play out between people can give us an indication of where they are mentally. I don't know their stories beyond your post though.

[bus boy]

Hi gotbushles, Xw and sister never had words. Xw said my sister wouldn't talk to her but I never saw it. It got worse after we moved in together and worse yet after we married. Xw would say things like my sister is a slut or a thief, unfit mother, would deserve to be beat by her husband. I would talk to my sister and she would say I try talking to her. Xw would get crazy abusive, mean about my mother and sister, also calls my sister a drunk. This stuff was getting back to my sister and she said I've done everything to be nice, she doesn't take the time to know me and says Terrable things, I'm done kissing her ass. Xw had rules in our house, I wasn't allowed to defend my family, I wasn't allowed to say nice things about my family, they weren't allowed in our house, Xw said we were never having children until I promised my family would never see them. It was crazy. After we married Xw was relentless, what are you going to do about your family, non stop. I had a mental break down, she got pregnant and was cruel mean to me while I suffered in mental anguish and when our son was 4 months old she left me and the hate continued to this day. Xw has similar politics in her extended family. One day her father quit talking to everyone of his siblings including his own mother. I would like more insite into this behaviour

[Turkish]

If this were my sister,  I'd be thinking,  "have you looked into what would justify a restraining order?"

If she's following your sister around stores and causing trouble, "your behaviour, following me and verbally berating me,  is unacceptable,  you need to stop following me, else I'm going to file a protective order against you.  You're harassing me and my family and i feel unsafe. You're on camera right now,  as well as in front of a dozen witnesses, so consider the consequences of what you say and do now very carefully. "

It would be prudent to consult with an attorney about your local laws concerning this behavior first. 

[bus boy]

Thanks Turkish, my sister is looking into it with the RCMP. It will do no good, Xw will not stop. She has no need to do what she is doing, only to cause conflict. She has he BF, on the ready to react to her fables. He came after me for no reason, some story she made up and he believed her. My brother in law all ready spoke to Xw and told her to stop harassing, and again a couple of years ago bro in law called Xw father and asked him to tell her to stop but it continues. Xw will keep it up until there is a conflict between her BF and my bro in law. And she will do it when all the stars are aligned just right, meaning s10 will be on hand. She all ready did it.

[Turkish]

You've already tried good triangulation, involving her relatives. She isn't getting the message. There are no consequences. Maybe a hard legal boundary and consequence will make it clear that she can't go pushing people around without repercussions.

[gotbushels]

Hi bus boy 

I'd like to support what Turkish suggested for your sister. I think it's a good idea and brings up things that could cause this issue to resolve peacefully.

I hope things turn out alright.