I Literally Made My Ex BPDbf Sick

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

By the end of my almost four year relationship with my ex the stress I was causing him by being with me actually made him sick. His blood pressure went through the roof. His doctor gave him three types of blood pressure medication and that didn't even help.

He started going for long drives, staying away after work, even sleeping in the park! That made him better because he was away from me. We weren't fighting at all, things were going ok. He said he felt trapped with me. He really got better when he started seeing his new girlfriend that also has BPD and PTSD. He said I never "got" him.

Anyway, has anyone else had any similar experiences?

[tammym1972]

By the end of my almost four year relationship with my ex the stress I was causing him by being with me actually made him sick. His blood pressure went through the roof. His doctor gave him three types of blood pressure medication and that didn't even help.

He started going for long drives, staying away after work, even sleeping in the park! That made him better because he was away from me. We weren't fighting at all, things were going ok. He said he felt trapped with me. He really got better when he started seeing his new girlfriend that also has BPD and PTSD. He said I never "got" him.

Anyway, has anyone else had any similar experiences?

[Mutt]

Hi Tammym1972,

My ex was avoiding my like the plague after she left me. I recall seeing her and she was just glowing, she was really depressed by the end of our marriage, she was not taking care of herself. It was hard to see that because I was left behind in so much pain, she seemed happy, it's  idealization she was chasing, she said she never felt better, that only lasts for so long.

Slowly but surely the perfect image she has in her mind about her bf begins to crack,  she sees the imperfections and she'll end up hating him too.

[Duped 1]

Mutt- did she start to come down to reality yet or is she still in idolization?

[Mutt]

She's splitting him black. He's going to be the source of all of her malaises.

He said he felt trapped with me.

A pwBPD fear engulfment with all of their romantic partners. That's what he's telegraphing when he says he felt trapped

[Duped 1]

Sounds like devaluation is in full swing Mutt. How long did that take?

[lovenature]

Sure tammy I have, once we get too close we trigger a PWBPD's fear of engulfment; we must be the problem, sadly they can't articulate that they push away everyone who gets too close-they are the common denominator.

[tammym1972]

That makes sense guys, in a weird sort of way. I don't think I will ever completely understand BPD behavior though. He was trying to convince me I had changed, that the problem was me, but I didn't think so. I knew I pretty much was the same I had always been.