Hi faithhopebelle,
It's a tough thing to deal with a loved one with BPD traits on a daily basis. It's mentally, emotionally and physically draining. Your story is familiar around here, and if you check out some of the other stories here you will find you are not alone. It's good to hear there has been improvement, does that mean he has or is doing therapy? Have you sought out a therapist to help guide you in this process? Many here have found a good professional invaluable in their journey.
One thing many of us have learned is that we cannot change our person with BPD, but we can change how we react to and communicate with them. To the right of this page in the margin you will see some tools and lessons that can guide you in doing just that!
Pay particular attention to setting boundaries. In your case do you think having some boundaries in place when he dysregulates could be of help? Removing yourself from the situation perhaps? Boundaries are there to help self protect.
We all understand the difficult circumstances as many of us have or are experiencing almost exactly what you are going through. Here you will find knowledge, understanding, sharing and guidance. You have found the right place. Feel free to post any thoughts, feelings, or questions anytime. We are here.