I now feel numb

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

After 4 months NC and suffering all of the normal emotions associated with grieving the break up, I now feel nothing.
The anger, sadness, denial. bitterness etc has gone. I don't want her back. I feel nothing for the years we had together. I feel nothing for her. I just feel numb.
I can't say it's a wonderful feeling but it's better than the previous ones.
I'm just not sure which stage of detachment this is. The beginning of indifference?

[IamGrey]

After 4 months NC and suffering all of the normal emotions associated with grieving the break up, I now feel nothing.
The anger, sadness, denial. bitterness etc has gone. I don't want her back. I feel nothing for the years we had together. I feel nothing for her. I just feel numb.
I can't say it's a wonderful feeling but it's better than the previous ones.
I'm just not sure which stage of detachment this is. The beginning of indifference?

[Duped 1]

After 4 months NC and suffering all of the normal emotions associated with grieving the break up, I now feel nothing.
The anger, sadness, denial. bitterness etc has gone. I don't want her back. I feel nothing for the years we had together. I feel nothing for her. I just feel numb.
I can't say it's a wonderful feeling but it's better than the previous ones.
I'm just not sure which stage of detachment this is. The beginning of indifference?

WOW good for you! How long was the relationship? I am 3 mos NC and still really struggling.

[Hisaccount]

I agree, I wish I was numb. I am still LC. Lots of bad days, but a good day from time to time.

Are you numb about everything or just her?

[I_am_Stacey]

Hey IamGrey,

I feel the same... .just numb. Do you only feel numb in your feelings towards her? Because I just feel numb about more things: like I'm just this cold human being. I am enjoying lots of things but just not with new people and men in particular. I'm carefull and always looking for what could be wrong with them. Some things I just can't care about. Like I have no empathy. That sounds prettig harsh and awfull as I'm Reading it.

I don't want my ex back, but although I feel numb, I do find it difficult to deal with him on a daily basis. It takes me back from time to time. I think this could be the step to indifference, but from my experience, I'm going through the different stages of detachment more than once. I have to say that I don't like the numbfeeling either. It kind of scares me... .howdo you feel about it?

Good for you on 4 Month's NC!
XOXO

[Pretty Woman]

Could you be confusing numb with indifferent?

It sounds like you are indifferent and that is a GOOD place to be! Congrats!

[IamGrey]

Hi Duped - 3.5 years, it was a LDR but easily the most suffocating RS I've ever been in. The vast majority of the time we spent together she was fantastic company, but her 'mask' would always slip once during every visit, with her inner raging, sobbing and accusing me of cheating, amongst other things.  She was far more needy/clingy when we were apart, wanting marriage, constant attention etc.

Hi Hissacount - Yeah pretty numb towards everything I guess. I just want the holidays to be over and the new year to begin. Like I said, feeling numb is still not a great feeling but better than previous ones.

Hi Stacey -  I hear what you're saying. That's what I'm wondering, knowing full well that recovery isn't linear, what I might be feeling tomorrow is unknown. I'm hoping it will soon be indifference, but until very recently I still felt a lot of guilt, knowing she put so much more into the R/S than I did and felt I failed her. Knowledge about the disorder and consequential FOG has helped a lot but I still hold some rational guilt. I'm not the innocent victim in all of this and am now questioning if the numbness is hiding the guilt. It's so hard to explain.

Hi PW - I think indifference would equate to being happy. I'm not there yet, hoping to be soon though.