Hi Cooper-
Am i reading too much into it but do you think she is trying to elicit a response from me so that she can try to show that i'm harrasing her / stalking her ?
If she has this disorder or traits thereof, yes she's trying to elicit a response, but not necessarily to show that you're harassing her. Borderlines need an attachment to feel whole, to feel in general, so she's seeing if an attachment is still in place you, and any emotional reaction on your part would indicate to her that it is. Also, a state of emotional chaos feels good to borderlines because without it a borderline wouldn't feel anything at all, and wouldn't be anything at all, it's about existing.
What would people do ? Just ignore it completely ?
It depends what the goal is. If the goal is to detach, and I'm sorry you're going through all that, including the divorce, if the goal is to detach, you're divorced, and there aren't any ties, legal or otherwise, then there's really no reason to return the message, in fact she explicitly said don't, even though you hadn't done the things she claims.
Once a borderline accepts that an attachment is no longer in place, they will stop trying, although it still hurts, borderlines hate to lose an attachment. And if you focus on doing what's best for you, what's the goal?
Take care man.
