Introduction

[Depression = 72% of members]

Hello! I have one parent with BPD/NPD and one with NPD.

I joined to try to understand the trauma so to speak of not understanding this for what it was.

My father's behavior is easier to understand but not my mother's. Her behavior makes my head spin and I can't process it.

[Noturfault]

Hello! I have one parent with BPD/NPD and one with NPD.

I joined to try to understand the trauma so to speak of not understanding this for what it was.

My father's behavior is easier to understand but not my mother's. Her behavior makes my head spin and I can't process it.

[Turkish]

What does she do that makes your head spin,  as opposed to your father?

[P.F.Change]

Welcome, Noturfault!

Wow, you got the double-dose. You probably already know that NPD and BPD are a very common pairing. There's even a book called The Narcissistic/Borderline Couple. It describes my father's family pretty well. My mother and both of my grandmothers probably have BPD--and my dad's mother probably NPD as well. My grandfather and uncle had behavior consistent with NPD.

You're right, it can be incredibly traumatic to grow up with parents who have personality disorders. Have you sought professional help for yourself? Is that how you found out about these disorders? I benefitted from therapy a great deal, and the resources here have been helpful, too. We have a Survivor's Guide in the right-hand margin that gives some guideposts about what might come next in your recovery.

Which disorder are you having a hard time understanding? Is it your mother with BPD?

Wishing you peace,

PF