Introduction

[Dale G.]

     Not quite sure where to start, but here goes:
     First, she is not my "SO", she is my wife.  I do not refer to her as anything less.  Honestly, I wish their were a New Member Thread Starter with that title.  Anything less seems rather cold. 
     Sorry if that feels like a rant.
     My wife and I have been married for almost 30 years.  We did not cohabit, or even "consummate" before the Honeymoon.  I love my wife deeply, not because I "fell in love" with her, but because I chose to do so, and take our wedding vows quite seriously.  I would die for her.  That would probably be easier than going through this.
     My father was a Psychologist, and told me of her condition many years ago.  He has since passed.
     I went to a Therapist for about 8 months, to evaluate myself first.  You know, remove the beam from my own eye, before removing the speck from someone else's eye.  Toward the end, I let her in on it, and she came along "to see how things are going".  She exaggerated, and outright lied, to the Counselor.  I met with him once following that visit.  He admitted that he had no training in BPD, and neither did anyone he could recommend.
     I looked under "Find a Therapist".  There were none listed in my state.
     So, here I am, online, Digital Dinosaur that I am, looking for help.
     -Dale G.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Tattered Heart]

Finding a therapist for someone with a personality disorder can be difficult. Many psychologist are not at all equipped to work with someone with BPD.  There are some other terms you might try to search. Some of those might include EMDR, mindfulness, personality disorder (not BPD specifically), PTSD, and trauma.