Nauseous and ranting. Impatient to be over this

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Sometimes I just get nauseous reading the similarities in our stories. THAT'S why I think I could have changed things had I known. I shut up because I was Soo confused at the end. In the beginning I explained things through to her as she always saw things backwards. At the end the butterflies had turned to nausea at what secrets she was keeping and not red hands from a dye packet, video, and failing a polygraph would have got a admission of guilt from her. I don't want to compare especially since I wasn't married and didn't have children with her, but I feel like I got the very worst psychological warfare they are capable of rained down on me.
 I've went through the story a million times but get sick trying to write it. In the beginning I couldn't shut up about it. I even had interview(I moved over a thousand miles home from where she was as my lease was just up) that became a counseling session in which I was offered the job but they suggested I take a month to heal and the woman also hoped out loud that my own mother hated her(she just hates what she did to me).
 The distance this person puts from her own actions makes me wonder with all that they lie to themselves how they don't have a phsycological break(not just from reality which is a given but a visible no rebound snap). This disorder at its worst is cruelty without remorse and the worse their projection the worse they act exactly as they see you.
Google brought me to this recently
  www.forbes.com/sites/daviddisalvo/2012/08/10/what-really-is-a-psychotic-break-with-reality/#1efc55a630f8

I know  a pure psycho reference is harsh but I feel like when she thought I was cheating she would be mean as could be and accuse me of being just that and I was scared as hell to say anything all the while she was cheating on me herself. She went gone girl during her comeback from ghosting me once. All the change in hair(10 inches off) and clothing only to throw a hat on for any pictures so I believe the new guy could be told they were old pics if I posted any. The last break up she cut it again. Not a new haircut after a break up but Britney Spears level. Did she care enough that it hurt at all or was she disassociating from the girl she showed me for so long? She even went baby talk for the first few months which I guess was being comfortable with me, but when I started questioning all the other odd behavior and caught up to her lies the 11yr old waif came to stay. Everyone has a different view off her. Scary.

[Octy]

Sometimes I just get nauseous reading the similarities in our stories. THAT'S why I think I could have changed things had I known. I shut up because I was Soo confused at the end. In the beginning I explained things through to her as she always saw things backwards. At the end the butterflies had turned to nausea at what secrets she was keeping and not red hands from a dye packet, video, and failing a polygraph would have got a admission of guilt from her. I don't want to compare especially since I wasn't married and didn't have children with her, but I feel like I got the very worst psychological warfare they are capable of rained down on me.
 I've went through the story a million times but get sick trying to write it. In the beginning I couldn't shut up about it. I even had interview(I moved over a thousand miles home from where she was as my lease was just up) that became a counseling session in which I was offered the job but they suggested I take a month to heal and the woman also hoped out loud that my own mother hated her(she just hates what she did to me).
 The distance this person puts from her own actions makes me wonder with all that they lie to themselves how they don't have a phsycological break(not just from reality which is a given but a visible no rebound snap). This disorder at its worst is cruelty without remorse and the worse their projection the worse they act exactly as they see you.
Google brought me to this recently
  www.forbes.com/sites/daviddisalvo/2012/08/10/what-really-is-a-psychotic-break-with-reality/#1efc55a630f8

I know  a pure psycho reference is harsh but I feel like when she thought I was cheating she would be mean as could be and accuse me of being just that and I was scared as hell to say anything all the while she was cheating on me herself. She went gone girl during her comeback from ghosting me once. All the change in hair(10 inches off) and clothing only to throw a hat on for any pictures so I believe the new guy could be told they were old pics if I posted any. The last break up she cut it again. Not a new haircut after a break up but Britney Spears level. Did she care enough that it hurt at all or was she disassociating from the girl she showed me for so long? She even went baby talk for the first few months which I guess was being comfortable with me, but when I started questioning all the other odd behavior and caught up to her lies the 11yr old waif came to stay. Everyone has a different view off her. Scary.