The need for better “boundaries” is advice often given when someone complains about how another person has been treating them.
“Help, my wife isn’t treating me well. Now she is giving me the silent treatment.”
“Well, friend, you need to set some boundaries”.
“You’re right, I have bad boundaries.”From this discussion one might believe that if we are angry and say
"no more" or even walk out that our wife (or other loved one) will change their ways and all will be well. That's not what this is about.
The concept of "Setting Boundaries" is often misunderstood. The terminology of "setting boundaries" is misleading and often mistaken to mean "giving an ultimatum." It is true that issuing ultimatums can be part of this life skill and at times, very necessary, however it's only one aspect of this life skill.
When we speak of the boundaries we are really speaking about our personal values and our need to get them in focus and live with more conviction.
This is a lifestyle, not a quick fix to an interpersonal squabble.This is an important point that is often overlooked.
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