Living with husband with BPD

[624]

I have just put a name on my husbands behavior and feel some relief knowing it's real.  I am currently seeking council but not feeling she will actually be needed. It will be nice talking to others who can relate to what I'm experiencing. I've been married 31 years and am only now discovering this illness. I have 2 children who are both grown now and they continually struggle with his behavior. My son and his dad are always back n forth not talking. My husband argues with people and then no longer will talk to them. We have lost many friends. He doesn't talk to his dad his uncle brother mother. My siblings. He will never forgive and has never said he's sorry or admitted anything being his fault. He is a great guy and does so much he is very helpful but when people don't respond the way he wants he shuts them out. He craves appreciation but nobody ever appreciates him enough so in turn it makes it hard to show appreciation because of how he acts.

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[Mutt]

Hi 624,



I'd like to welcome you to  bpdfamily, I'm glad that you found us, you're right it helps to talk to people that can relate with you and offer you guidance and support. I hope that you reconsider couselling or therapy, the best combo is seeing a T concurrently with a support group.

He craves appreciation but nobody ever appreciates him enough so in turn it makes it hard to show appreciation because of how he acts.

It helps to read as much as you can about the disorder. A pwBPD have a difficult time seeing people as integrated whole with both good and bad qualities at the same time, good people have bad qualities and good people have bad qualities, a pwBPD have all or nothing thinking you're all good or all bad. I can relate with how painful it is when our pwBPD don't see the good in us, it helps to understand why our pwBPD behave the way that they do so that we can weather these storms. A pwBPD will split the people that they care about most.

BPD BEHAVIORS: Splitting