Vetting a resource

[Josie C]

Does anyone have experience with TARA4BPD? An earlier post had the ‘Mother’s Day’ letter from this resource.  It resonated with me and I’d like to know if anyone has used their services.  Looks like it’s based in NY, not sure if they have virtual options.

My husband and I have done a year of DBT, are on a waiting list for Family Connections, and are just finishing up a ten-week class through our local NAMI, “Families In Action.” We’re still in desperate need of help.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Sancho]

TARA is a well established, not-for-profit organisation that I came across many years ago. The resources are evidenced based and, in my opinion, well worth investigating to explore options that could be helpful in your situation.

You are doing lots to upskill and understand this complex condition - and I think TARA and it's founder are on the same page - learning about personality disorders and trying to break down the stigmatization of those with the condition.

Hope it is helpful.

[Josie C]

Thanks, Sancho.
I ordered Valerie Poor’s (founder of TARA) book, Overcoming Borderline Personality Disorder: A Family Guide for Healing and Change.  I like that it’s written by a mom who has experienced the anguish and suffering of a child with BPD.  Reading books by clinicians are certainly beneficial, but they deal with a person for a fraction of the time that family members do. I’m hoping that reading about what someone in the trenches has learned from intense research and experience might be helpful.

We had a horrible weekend, both ugly and scary, and I really believe that it may have been less so if I could have been more skillful—and helped my daughter access some skills, too.  I’ve lost all confidence in my words, thoughts, actions, and decision-making abilities. It’s difficult not to feel helpless, hopeless, and utterly inept in this struggle.

[Sancho]

I hope you are okay Josie C.
I really agree with you re lived experience. I would never have matched the clinicians description with what was happening in my life with BPD dd.

Coming here was my lightbulb moment - Ah so this is all part of BPD!!!!!!

I'm sorry things have been so bad. It's been tough here for the past few months. A few days ago dd started to talk to me in a normal way - just a little bit and I dared to hope.

But today . . .

It's so hard not to be flattened and depressed by this awful condition.

Sending thoughts . . .