feeling lost

[BPDstinks]

Hi, friends!  been awhile since I have posted....I knew this would happen...this is nearing the 2nd year of contactLESS holidays with my pwBPD; I just have this nagging sensation I should do SOMETHING, anything...(I did text BPD because her insurance card needed updated; sent a very brief, "I miss you & I love you); BPD is still in contact with my mother, so that is a good thing...I know i am setting myself up for failure, but I really thought, by NOW BPD would have "come around" (than I remind myself, it is nothing personal, etc.; any thoughts or suggestions?  I feel so sad EVERY day (I see messages about keeping busy, doing things for yourself...I am busy & feel complete in my "adult" life, I just miss my pwBPD too much)

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Swimmy55]

Hi BPD,
I get it.  My adult son is also estranged. It doesn't help the Hellidays ( er, Holidays) are coming up.  I, too wonder how long is this going to go on. I am trying to remember if he gets intouch is out of my hands,but it is still terrible,.  Self care is in order.  What is something kind you can do for you?  Plug in "estrangement " into the search feature here for some readings that may help.  I am looking into starting a new hobby- taking rollerskating lessons at the age of 62.  For that 30 minutes per week, I am not thinking of my BPD.Hopfully I can stick with it long enough to meet some goals , which will increase my self esteem.  Put the focus on you, as much as you can. 

[BPDstinks]

thank you for responding!  I DO feel like i need SOMEthing I am passionate about again (I was obsessed with Zumba...than, Covid, work, blah blah; I will try the estrangement option...!  it is going on 2 years now!  (again, the strange thing is she reaches out to my MOTHER!) (she did last night & acknowledged receiving my text...um, ok

[BPDstinks]

I read the Estrangement link....oh my!  I think i have been doing everything BACKWARDS!  Thank you for the tip!

[Ourworld]

Dear BPDStinks,

I’m sorry to hear how upset you feel, if it is any consolation I thought I would be on my way overseas for missionary work this year instead I’m recovering from ear surgery!
I still think and pray for my daughter each day, she’s 39 now, and I was shown what she wrote on LinkedIn for her career and she sounded positive and with good self-esteem again. So, there is a light at the end of the tunnel!

I thought you had read stuff before, such as Walking on Eggshells, but I really hope there are some good resources that help lift you out of the blahs!! There is all kinds of fun things to try, like this roller skating class, the more you do maybe the less you’ll worry about or feel sad that she isn’t communicating with you.

My daughter was an only child, all that remains here from my immediate biological family are 3 siblings who barely spoke with me and now since my Mom passed in June, I doubt I will ever hear much from them again. My point is, if she is in contact with them, I would not even know.

So, at least she speaks some with your Mom, that’s actually somewhat comforting. When she’s ready for her life to get better, as my daughter finally has, she’ll seek treatment, just pray, keep your chin up (you wouldn’t want her to know that you’re sad), and keep on, keeping on.
I did, and you even have other people in your daily life!

Go have fun, do silly things just for you!

Hugs, OurWorld

[BPDstinks]

Thank you, Our World!  yup!  I have read Walking On Eggshells & I Hate You Don't Leave Me (amongst other resources); far be it for me to disagree with your kind words....I have a very FULL life...(though, I am anxiously awaiting the new gym, by me, to open up), I went back to church, i see my grandchildren....I just saw this movie, "Here" and I think life is all about transition....and while that is SAD, it is a part of life...I know I just need to "wait it out" & you are 100 percent...I don't want pwBPD to know I am sad!  One thing I read, stands out, "about acknowledging mistakes"...I realize I need to stop comparing pwBPD issues to my own mental health "accomplishments", I know I did that when we were together...I want her to know I am ready to try again!  thanks again!