- I *do* have a regular account on here and am familiar with BPD, just don't want to tie this to my identity.
This is a saga and I'm sorry this is out of left field. ChatGPT has been great but I need to talk to real people.
I accidentally wound up in a relationship with my OnlyFans girl and it has spiralled in an unexpected way.
She was a former worldwide Playboy contest winner with a background in the oil & gas industry, but after losing her job due to Keystone XL delays, was moonlighting as a stripper for a neighbouring city's largest agency. She had an OF going on the side where she'd post modelling shoot outtakes. The girl ran marathons and was very close with her parents, often posting photos with them on Instagram. She did not fit the stripper or airhead model archetype, and was basically an accomplished office admin girl that Playboy discovered through a fan vote - entering out of curiosity and winning the whole thing as a complete unknown.
We're both in our early 30's and after years of making small-talk on OnlyFans during Covid, we happened to be single at the same time and agreed meeting up would be a harmless novelty. I hired her as a stripper and grabbed a hotel room for the night. Nothing about our encounter indicated BPD mania or impulsivity; both of us were visibly confused but pleasantly surprised that the other was a lot more normal than we'd anticipated.
We started dating. I know how to spot a girl with BPD, I dated one in my teens and was on here about ten years ago. This woman was very, very pleasant to deal with. She did not text obsessively, did not get jealous of my friends or hobbies, and we saw each other once every two weeks or so unless there was some kind of big event that was worth making the drive for. She did not love-bomb me, did not sex-bomb me, posted me on social media at a reasonable time, and introduced me to her parents at around the 4 or 5 month mark. She was financially responsible, kept her place clean, and had a couple of hobbies. I was not hidden, I was not a secret, I was eventually introduced to friends and coworkers, and it was clear they had been told a lot about me. Her apartment slowly filled up with souvenirs of things we'd done together, and I was invited to family stuff like BBQ's or church on Easter Sunday. She was also completely sober. Big deal here in Alberta where 4 out of every 5 people have a drinking problem.
Around seven months in, she dropped the "I think I have BPD" talk on me, which I was surprised by. Confessed to feeling empty, worthless, "stuck", having a major drinking & cocaine problem for most of her adult life - I knew this, it came out when we chatted casually on OnlyFans. Told me about multiple suicide attempts in the past, and rolled up her sleeves to show healed self-harm scars lining both her wrists. When driving downtown, would point out buildings her friends lived at, and say she could never live downtown in fear of jumping off a balcony one day. Explained that when coked out, she'd call up her mom to scream at her, and would cut out random guys at the drop of a hat. Had been banned off most dating apps for screaming at guys. Expressed confusion that she had never felt that way about me. I started to realize that this was likely because a Favorite Person dynamic had developed.
However, I also wondered if BPD was a false lead she and was secretly on the autism spectrum. She was too well-spoken, too organized, too accomplished, and had too photographic of a memory, to be a BPD nutter. She also commented that some clients at bachelor parties she stripped at, and even her own father, made comments about her being on the autism spectrum. When I reaffirmed I thought this too, her eyes lit up and she started treating me completely different - like I had "cracked her code."
Probably know the plot twist coming. She relapsed shortly after we hit the one year mark, and it was like a switch flipped. All of the BPD symptoms came out. I held out for her to get back into addictions counselling or some sort of rehab center, but when she started missing appointments because she "didn't feel like it", I dumped her. As you can imagine, this was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. She is realistically the most beautiful woman in our country and up until this point, there was basically nothing wrong with her.
It's been two months out, and she hasn't taken the breakup well. Someone is repeatedly trying to get into my WhatsApp account - she's one of two people who know I even have WhatsApp, the other being my mom. She's blocked me on Instagram, but is using a finsta to obsessively watch my stories, even DMing me directly from the account where she roleplays as a down-on-her-luck single mom venting about how depressed and hopeless she feels. I've given the fake account my phone number, and she's texted me from what's obviously a burner phone with the correct area code - her texting style is identical, uses the same emojis, and the same colloquialisms. I've confronted the account twice now, very plainly stating that I know it's her, and she has continued to vehemently deny it while obsessively monitoring me. She'll go as far as liking posts or even leaving comments, which is just bizarre as my account isn't very big and my friends have clued in that it's her under a burner.
What's the play here? Confronting her hasn't worked, and I fear this gets exponentially worse if I block her Insta.
