A bpd person I'm not even friends with is obsessed with me

[Kim1199]

Hello,

I've read many posts & have learned a lot over the years. I've encountered BPD bosses, a neighbor who got very obsessed, even though I was only his friend. He was like a father figure. I had to move and go no contact. I'm now dealing with a person I only know bc of a medical clinic. She got super obsessed, emailed me in the middle of the night through the patient portal. It was a few years ago. I'm not there anymore and she was fired. She found me on social media. She doesn't reply directly, but she monitors my posts 24/7. I tried posting at all different hours, she will post shortly after in her numerous accts. She thinks I'm talking to her when I'm absolutely not!! She thinks I'm in love with her which is completely delusional! I've been monitoring her posts more recently, for concerning things and I've found many. Some get deleted. I'm very fearful of her and very concerned. It's a terrible feeling being the object of someones obsession.

She takes on any of my interests. Be it music, food
At the same time, posting things that she knows upset me. Tries to get a reaction.
 She's not in the same state anymore. But she's obsessed with where I am. Posts events and weird things in reels, that disappear. Overlay messages of, love stuff & you've missed me. I've never given any indication of interest. We're not even friends! We've never been at the same coffee shop, or store in line at the same time. She's completely delusional. & She's married to a woman. She's a trans man but goes by nonbinary. She's on hormones which feeds her anger. I'm very afraid of her. She projects. She thinks every thing I post is about her and she'll respond. I did call her out a few times and posted some of her crazy, v*Ient content around trans issues and girls sports. She checks all the boxes for serious danger. I don't know what to do to get her to stop. I appreciate your time and input.
 

[Notwendy]

I don't think it's possible to control this person's actions. She does seem to be following you on social media. Fortunately you are not in the same location.

I think your only best thing to do is lay low on social media- make it so she sees nothing you post. Is there some way to adjust your privacy settings so she doesn't see your posts? If this isn't possible ( I don't know how all of them work)- then a break from social media is what you need to do.

PwBPD are drawn to drama and attention. If she has nothing to interact with, she may find it less reinforcing to do what she's doing. If she can not interact with your posts at all- she is more likely to move on to something/someone else.

[Kim1199]

Hi,

Thanks so much for your input! You're right. The problem with social media, she's looking from other accounts. I have a weird account, where I don't even follow or want followers. I used to check news , etc. Once I did start posting, it definitely draws people. It's just scary to me. Because she operates these wannabe causes that don't bring much support. She also tries to monetize asking for donations, but she keeps the money. She'll post from those accts. She recruited a member from an area that's not far from me. Most concerning, the people she's looking for, aren't in that area. It's more quiet and conservative. It looks bad that she's even posting about places near my home!! Thanks again.

[Notwendy]

It is creepy but also anything on the internet is public in some way. I think the safest thing to do is not post anything for a while. Let her get bored. You can still PM people you want to have contact with. Just don't post. Likely she will move on eventually.

[Kim1199]

That makes sense. It's really unfortunate for the people that cross paths with these kinds. We have to modify our behavior. They're the most selfish people I've ever encountered.

Again, I got especially concerned because we didn't have any kind of friendship, so for her to completely read into everything. I feel like I'm caught up in someones hallucination. Finally, I thought of maybe getting a private investigator to reach out and set the record straight. And maybe that would wake her up. It's stunning to be so afraid of her, yet she interrupts it as me being in love!

[Kim1199]

That makes sense. It's really unfortunate for the people that cross paths with these kinds. We have to modify our behavior. They're the most selfish people I've ever encountered.

Again, I got especially concerned because we didn't have any kind of friendship, so for her to completely read into everything. I feel like I'm caught up in someones hallucination. Finally, I thought of maybe getting a private investigator to reach out and set the record straight. And maybe that would wake her up. It's stunning to be so afraid of her, yet she interprets it as me being in love!

[Notwendy]

Unless what she is doing is criminal or would make a case for you in court, the cost of a private investigator probably wouldn't be worth it. That also brings attention to her, and it's attention that fuels what she's doing. Ignoring it/not posting  is less reinforcing to her.

[Kim1199]

That's makes a lot of sense. Thanks again.

[once removed]

what if you just didnt read her posts?

[Kim1199]

Hi,

Thank you for replying. Of course, you're right! I know I shouldn't!! I was just getting concerned. I'm queer myself, she happens to be really deep into the trans stuff. That's her business. She's been very active trying to recruit kids. I've been quite active in the opposite. I was concerned after the election. Sure enough, she is raging. But what startled me was, older posts that sounded familiar. I write & I post a fair amount, she's literally posting in response to my random posts. Literally speaking to me personally.


 I've had others monitor for a few days. I changed my habits. She tried to stop while I was stopped. But started to really come undone. Angry posts. Then, sappy self help cartoons. All memes and reposts.


I've been worried bc she posted about a new member of a charity, these fake projects to make her seem accomplished. It's a remote area where there's not much queer venues, etc. I was advised by a security person, to keep an eye out & get pics. Especially once she posted that the person, isn't far from me. If she plans some "business meeting" and comes here. It was very deliberate.


Sure enough, things specific to me were posted in reels that disappear, strangely. And she's deleted inappropriate posts that I happen to see before it was deleted. Sorry to go on. People like this really get us twisted around. We have countless stories.


We literally only know each other bc she was my doctors assistant. Replied to emails. We've literally never even been at the same random Starbucks, yet she's totally obsessed and posts overlays with hearts and pornographic cartoons. I got an alert, she did start posting tonight right after I posted a couple things. I know I shouldn't. It's really sad to have to change my life, I literally have never even talked to her on the phone outside the doctors office. It's nuts!!




You're

[Kim1199]

Hi,

Thank you for replying. Of course, you're right! I know I shouldn't!! I was just getting concerned. I'm queer myself, she happens to be really deep into the trans stuff. That's her business. She's been very active trying to recruit kids. I've been quite active in the opposite. I was concerned after the election. Sure enough, she is raging. But what startled me was, older posts that sounded familiar. I write & I post a fair amount, she's literally posting in response to my random posts. Literally speaking to me personally.


 I've had others monitor for a few days. I changed my habits. She tried to stop while I was stopped. But started to really come undone. Angry posts. Then, sappy self help cartoons. All memes and reposts.


I've been worried bc she posted about a new member of a charity, these fake projects to make her seem accomplished. It's a remote area where there's not much queer venues, etc. I was advised by a security person, to keep an eye out & get pics. Especially once she posted that the person, isn't far from me. If she plans some "business meeting" and comes here. It was very deliberate.


Sure enough, things specific to me were posted in reels that disappear, strangely. And she's deleted inappropriate posts that I happen to see before it was deleted. Sorry to go on. People like this really get us twisted around. We have countless stories.


We literally only know each other bc she was my doctors assistant. Replied to emails. We've literally never even been at the same random Starbucks, yet she's totally obsessed and posts overlays with hearts and pornographic cartoons. I got an alert, she did start posting tonight right after I posted a couple things. I know I shouldn't. It's really sad to have to change my life, I literally have never even talked to her on the phone outside the doctors office. It's nuts!!

[Kim1199]

.... I'm so sorry to go on. I did check real quick, and there are these celebratory very s**ual posts in reels. She purposely does that so the content disappears.

You're so right I really need to stop. It'll never end. She's very sick. She's married and that poor woman probably doesn't know the extent of this obsession. She's got some issues too. No longer in the big city the pwbpd was in, bc she couldn't find anyone so now she's out there, really unhappy. Such a pwbpd trait, they married before even living in the same state. Because she was afraid she'd back out. I'm so grateful she's out there! Again bc of her behavior when I wasn't posting,  she posts v*olent things and very creepy handwriting cartoons with bizarre messages. I feel compelled because I'm afraid I'll miss something incrementing. Thanks again.