suddenly over

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

my fiance broke off our engagement on christmas eve. my mother passed away in early October. He was amazing through the whole death and funeral but when we returned home he started attacking me over small things and criticizing me more. We went to my father's for the holidays and after about three days of nonstop fighting and criticizing me he broke it off on the 24th and then didnt proceed to leave my father's house but stayed an entire extra day. He is now back home in our apartment. I need him to move out (it was mine before and he moved in with me) but I don't want to trigger him into rage. how do I approach him about it? He is not diagnosed but his behavior fits this diagnosis. he says I treat him poorly, picks fights over tiny things and blames me for his mood, heavy cannabis use, previous gambling problem, etc.

[AliAli]

my fiance broke off our engagement on christmas eve. my mother passed away in early October. He was amazing through the whole death and funeral but when we returned home he started attacking me over small things and criticizing me more. We went to my father's for the holidays and after about three days of nonstop fighting and criticizing me he broke it off on the 24th and then didnt proceed to leave my father's house but stayed an entire extra day. He is now back home in our apartment. I need him to move out (it was mine before and he moved in with me) but I don't want to trigger him into rage. how do I approach him about it? He is not diagnosed but his behavior fits this diagnosis. he says I treat him poorly, picks fights over tiny things and blames me for his mood, heavy cannabis use, previous gambling problem, etc.

[kells76]

Hi AliAli, glad you found us, and

my fiance broke off our engagement on christmas eve. my mother passed away in early October.

Oh wow, that sounds like an incredibly painful season for you. I'm sorry this is all going on so close together. After losing your mother, to then experience your fiance's behavior at your father's house would be so hurtful.

Even though he was the one who initiated the breakup, I think I'm hearing that you are OK with it -- you are done with the relationship at this point?

He is now back home in our apartment. I need him to move out (it was mine before and he moved in with me) but I don't want to trigger him into rage. how do I approach him about it? He is not diagnosed but his behavior fits this diagnosis. he says I treat him poorly, picks fights over tiny things and blames me for his mood, heavy cannabis use, previous gambling problem, etc.

Whose name is on the apartment lease?

In the past, when he's had big rages, how long would it take him to return to an emotional baseline?

Are you able to stay with your father just for now?

This is a lot to cope with -- we'll be here for you;

kells76

[seekingtheway]

Hi there,

I'm really sorry you've been through the double whammy, with the loss of your mother and an important relationship in such a short time frame. That would be really tough to handle, especially at this time of year.

As Kells said, would be good to know how things usually go when you're in conflict. I assume from your post that your now ex-partner is aware that the relationship has ended, and that he is in agreeance with that, at least at this moment in time?

Feel free to share more with us, there are plenty of people here who will be able to identify with what you're going through.