Giving up

[Cpv]

I am in so much pain over my adult daughter’s BPD. Yeah holidays are hard. We are setting more boundaries( my husband and I, we’ve been married forever) and she is reacting by blaming us for her horrible life. Shes in denial of how much this illness is hurting her, and us. The Serenity prayer is now the wallpaper of my phone. I just can’t seem to say the thing to her that will lead her to more treatment. She has a Dr, not sure how much she’s seen him in the last week or so. I’m praying…

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Swimmy55]

I am sorry about your pain.  Good on you about the Serenity Prayer on your  phone.  Reaching out here is an excellent first step and it is great we are a part of your network.  I am also in a 12 step program  that teaches about detachment and putting the focus on me.  There are different types of these ,like Co dependents anonymous, for example.  They are free and online.

 Unfortunately, there is no magic thing to say that will get our adult children into more treatment.  Gently , her recovery journey is hers alone.  We as parents have our own separate recovery journey, as bpd affects the whole family.  Another thing that helps is when I repeat to myself, " What others think of me is none of my business."   
You are doing your best and helping her be independent.  That is really all a parent can do.  Now it is time for you to be there for you.
Please reach out here as much as you need to.