not sure what to do

[bordercontrol]

hi,

I have been with my partner for the past 8 years and it has been and still is a rollercoaster. He has been diagnosed by different clinicians several times over the years with BPD and has just now started believing his diagnosis. I am really struggling with the repetitive blaming and gaslighting and don't know what to do. I really do love him, but I don't have a lot that I like about him anymore. I don't believe in divorce, but I also don't condone abuse. We went to therapy together and separately a couple years ago and it made everything worse because my partner felt the therapist "took my side with everything." I am just feeling really alone and defeated and it's really damaging my self esteem so I was hoping to find people that may know what I am going through and have some kind words. For others in a similar situation, I am really sorry you're experiencing this too.

Thanks.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Jabiru]

Hi and welcome We all here can relate to being in a relationship with a pwBPD. Take a look at others' threads here and also the Tips menu at the top of the page. My 2 favorite books on the topic are Stop Walking on Eggshells and Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist.

[thankful person]

Hi border control, I’m sorry you’re struggling too and I really hope things get better for you. I can do kind words, but feeling useful is another thing, I’m somewhat of an old timer, been on here four years but what with this being a rollercoaster sometimes I feel like I’ve got it all figured out and sometimes I feel like I’ve figured out nothing. Sorry for the rambling. You should certainly read those books though, stop caretaking is my favourite. All the best.