Estrangement

[libgramma]

First time finding this website. Approximately 4 years ago my grown son decided I was too much of a "libtard" to be around my 3 grandsons. It has broken my heart and after much therapy, I have reached acceptance and am getting through life, appreciating what I can. We live in the same small town, and before this happened, the kids came to my house often for sleep overs and playing in the creek in the summer. I still go to their school sports games and get to make eye contact, every once in awhile if their parents aren't around, get hugs. I worry sick for them. Their dad, my son, shows all classic signs of narcissism. I try to be supportive , but wonder if there is anything else I can do?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[js friend]

Hi libgramma,

I must say Id never heard of the word "libtard" and had to look it up. So its something to do with liberal political views which your son possibly opposes?

I think that there will often  be something that our pwbpd/npd cannot tolerate about us and make us walk a fine line around it. I think a difference in opinion should be just seen as such but my udd struggles with this too.

I am also estranged from my 3 gc. The eldest 2 used to spend weekends and holidays with me before my udd decided to cut me out of their lives completely. The youngest gc I havent even met and was born after the estrangement began.

I seriously think that looking back that my estrangement from my gc was inevitable as I had  been shaky territory for many years with my udd before she decided that I was no longer useful to her anymore. Udd applied LC a few times before this time and the gc have been confused and upset not being able to see me but udd has continued on with the estrangement because it has been all about taking her feelings into account  and the control and punishment of others. I believe this estrangement is because she now she has a live in partner which she desired for very many years putting men and toxic r/s before my gc. Now she has a partner that  I know nothing about  or whether he is good to my gc and if he treats them well which I find very upsetting but luckily her previous partner is still allowed to see my gc which helps to mind at ease a little bit.

I really wish that there were laws that would protect gp's rights because I believe that in cases like ours it is within the best interests of our gc that we remain in their lives. I know how hard this road is to travel and wish I could see my gc for even a split second so when you see your gc tell them hold them close and tell them how much you love them. Anything more than that your son may think that you are trying to force your way back in and we know how that goes with pwnpd.

What helps me is to write letters to my gc when I feel the need. I dont want them to forget me or think that I have forgotten them I never post them as I dont think that udd would allow them to have them  but I will keep them until the day I can personally give them to them and if that doesnt happen for some reason I have told family  members where they are.