Hello Flyakite and welcome to the group
You are not alone in having struggles in your current relationship; many members here do, too. It's good that you're asking for some help and support in figuring out what you can do to make things better
This site is designed for working on a relationship with a person with BPD. Am I reading your post correctly, that both you and your partner have been diagnosed with BPD?
While the site is not designed to support pwBPD (persons with BPD) directly -- for example, we don't focus on DBT skills practice -- we do support anyone, regardless of diagnosis, in a relationship with a pwBPD. So, you are more than welcome to join here, as long as that focus (on relationship and communication skills) is workable. A very good skill to start practicing on is
mindfulness and WiseMind, which can help us slow down our instinctive but non-effective responses.
If you decide that this site might not be a good fit, that's OK too -- there are some great groups out there that focus more on DBT skills and effective emotional management. For example,
Emotions Matter offers online peer support groups, and as far as I can tell, the groups are free and you can attend 3 times per month. (I have not attended so cannot speak to the groups personally)
No matter what you decide, we wish you and your partner health, hope, and positivity
