Relationship is over

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

My boyfriend for the past 10 yrs recently started behavior out of character. Over the past few months the behavior become more  erratic and he would go into fits or being irrational and  accusatory. He asked him if he was cheating as he  exhibited this same behavior in the past in which he was cheating and have a child. Long story short, the relationship is over and he is moving out. How do I talk to him about important things without him going manic? We have 1 child together, 1 from his affair which I raised as mine from 3m and 1 from a previous relationship. I love and want all the kids to stay with me but I want it to be official. Over past weeks he has gone back and forth about where boys will stay, now he is allowing them to stay with me. I don't want to trigger him but I always feel like I'm on egg shells which makes it hard to handle important things. He has been calm lately as if he haven't verbally  lash out at me a lot of horrible things. How do I get him to see their best interest. He is not in a good place to care for they as he is rarely home in the evening which is when they would need him. I feel like I'm suffocating because the house is on edge because kids and I don't want to set him off. I spoke with his mom n aunt and they ate a loss for words bout his behavior n conduct. He stopped visiting them which is not normal as he would see them daily. I need to gently get him out the house and finances because of his poor spending habits. I want to remove him from account since he has his own. I need advice or tips on coparenting and splitting our finances without a lash out.

[Fryejd]

My boyfriend for the past 10 yrs recently started behavior out of character. Over the past few months the behavior become more  erratic and he would go into fits or being irrational and  accusatory. He asked him if he was cheating as he  exhibited this same behavior in the past in which he was cheating and have a child. Long story short, the relationship is over and he is moving out. How do I talk to him about important things without him going manic? We have 1 child together, 1 from his affair which I raised as mine from 3m and 1 from a previous relationship. I love and want all the kids to stay with me but I want it to be official. Over past weeks he has gone back and forth about where boys will stay, now he is allowing them to stay with me. I don't want to trigger him but I always feel like I'm on egg shells which makes it hard to handle important things. He has been calm lately as if he haven't verbally  lash out at me a lot of horrible things. How do I get him to see their best interest. He is not in a good place to care for they as he is rarely home in the evening which is when they would need him. I feel like I'm suffocating because the house is on edge because kids and I don't want to set him off. I spoke with his mom n aunt and they ate a loss for words bout his behavior n conduct. He stopped visiting them which is not normal as he would see them daily. I need to gently get him out the house and finances because of his poor spending habits. I want to remove him from account since he has his own. I need advice or tips on coparenting and splitting our finances without a lash out.

[infjEpic]

Welcome to the Family!

I think you will find some helpful information in relation to your specific question in this section:

Co-parenting After the Split: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?board=9.0

[ynwa]

 

Hey Fryejd, I also want to welcome you to the board and a family of people with similar stories.  It's got to be overwhelming and difficult to deal with this, and people here can help.

Do you have a support network family and friends, you can lean on a bit to help you through this?  You have been through a lot and it helps to share with others and ask for help. 

I'm going to put a link that is a general guide but I'm sure you are feeling a lot of things, so take some time and breathe.  This is going to take time and patience, both with yourself and your SO.

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=61980.0

Let us know what you think.

YNWA.