Hello
I replied to your other post as well :
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=305373.msg12844926#msg12844926I would say definitely projecting on people close to BPD is very common, also on young children. My mum did it constantly with me. My sister, who's 4 years younger, was the golden child. I took all of the insanity, my sister a bit less.
Still when I look at my sister now I can see the consequences of my mum's behavior since my sister definitely has BPD traits too. If I'm completely honest I think years ago I had some unhealthy tendencies too (although I don't think I qualified for the diagnosis of BPD).
I am so happy that you are the kind of dad who reaches out for the sake of his children. This gives me hope, my dad never did that.