Discarded by text after 5 years

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Hi,
It’s been a month since I was sent a series of texts notably
Told that they were with someone they »really really »
Like.
They write they sincerely hoped I would do some healing.
The callousness of the texts, the smug condescending tone still hurts.
I don’t want to ever see them again, but I’m still shaken at being so coldly dismissed after 5 years by text.
I sent them an angry email telling them I don’t want to see them again.I deleted every contact and got rid of every reminder . I just wish I forget fast

[Darnley]

Hi,
It’s been a month since I was sent a series of texts notably
Told that they were with someone they »really really »
Like.
They write they sincerely hoped I would do some healing.
The callousness of the texts, the smug condescending tone still hurts.
I don’t want to ever see them again, but I’m still shaken at being so coldly dismissed after 5 years by text.
I sent them an angry email telling them I don’t want to see them again.I deleted every contact and got rid of every reminder . I just wish I forget fast

[stevemcduck]

hi Damly

im so sorry to hear that you have gone through this. it hurts like hell. mine has not been that cruel yet and I can imagine it would feel like a knife too your heart.

you have done the right thing by going no contact. are you in therapy? its a huge help to process the emotions and begin the healing.

you are not alone. sometimes people with disorders can be immensely cruel.

not that you would wish harm on anyone else but remember there was a time they really really liked you and this new person one day will suffer the same fate you have

[Under The Bridge]

Even when they break up with us, their disordered minds can't even do it with any kind of tact, thoughtfulness or decency - their emotions at the moment come into play and they just let rip.

BPD's have the ability to simply dismiss their partner in an instant, regardless of jow long they've been with them. They have an 'out of sight, out of mind' thought process, focussing only on the moment and what they want and everything else is irrelevant - and incredibly hurtful to us after we're bluntly discarded without a thought.

As stevemcduck says, their new relationship will not be any different once the initial attraction phase wears off and the inevitable cycle starts.  Be aware that once this initial 'infatuation' phase wears off they may try to re-engage with you so be strong with your intentions and boundaries. If you feel the relationship is definitely over then no-contact is the way to go, as it's very easy to be drawn back into the cycle, thinking 'It might work this time'.

Your breakup - hard as it is to deal with now - may prove to be a blessing in disguise when compared to the possibility of spending the rest of your life in this soul-destroying cycle. I was with my exBPD for 4 years and if I'd known what I know now about BPD I'd have made sure to stay away after her first breakup, rather than go back for more and more.

Stay strong and focus on your own health and well-being. You have a chance for a normal life whereas sadly your ex-partner never will.