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Near or in break-up mode?
What Does it Take to Be in a Relationship
Is Your Relationship Breaking Down?
Escaping Conflict and the Karpman Drama Triangle
Emotional Blackmail: Fear, Obligation and Guilt (FOG)
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Author Topic: Need help  (Read 319 times)
Corey_lasvegas

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married , long distance
Posts: 4


« on: April 28, 2025, 12:00:58 PM »

I’ve been with a woman with BPD for 4.5 years and married for 1. I’m really thinking of filing for divorce /leaving .

The lack of affection ( it’s like pulling teeth to get even a quick peck )
The lack of intimacy ( not kidding , once in the last 4-5 months )
The compulsive spending ( thereby I have to over tend myself financially , can’t save money. She blows her checks within days  )
The constant sleeping
The poor choice in friends who take advantage of her

Refusing to consistently take her meds

Labeling me as “ vanilla “ sexually ( or maybe she’s shared her previous trauma and I’m trying to be sensitive:not cause her to have flashbacks )

Why the hell am I sticking around ???? Im obviously not wanted here . She’s just interested in me paying the bills , and doesn’t give a PLEASE READ if I’m happy
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This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

stevemcduck
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: broken up
Posts: 81


« Reply #1 on: April 28, 2025, 02:38:01 PM »

what is making you stay? I think I would feel quite happy to move on in your situation, I was with mine for 5 years and it was bliss till the last day, that's what hurt me so much. do you feel she might change? have you tried to talk to her about it?
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Corey_lasvegas

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married , long distance
Posts: 4


« Reply #2 on: May 05, 2025, 12:19:24 PM »

I’m honestly not sure . I’ve been here 2 months and I’m just extremely lonely , depressed and if I’m being honest ….ive got the suicide prevention hotline pinned to the top of my text threads because I constantly think she and everyone else want me gone .
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losthope1234

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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: married
Posts: 39


« Reply #3 on: May 07, 2025, 02:21:34 AM »

Hi..i am sorry you are going through such a hard time. Are you living separated currently? Like steve asked, what is preventing you from getting the divorce that you are looking for? are you emotionally attached to her deeply, or is it due to some legal reasons?
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