How do I get my own time to recharge when my wife had BPD?

[BonfireLit]

Hello! Just recently joined this forum, because it's so hard to talk about the difficulties of supporting someone with BPD. I love my wife, but it's getting harder to not want to pretend I'm at work late. I have ADHD and it makes her really upset when I'm hyperverbal and hyperfixate, and she dislikes my interests, like Elden Ring, because she feels abandoned. I actually woke up to her sleeping on the floor because she was triggered I didn't cuddle her despite the fact that I was tired and, well, asleep. And she seems to be splitting even more lately, and I don't know why. Her medication hasn't changed at all. Could it be her college courses? How should I be responding? I don't just want to ignore it like people are telling me; that's when she self-harms, but it's so hard for her to be constantly splitting on me.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

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[BonfireLit]

Apologies - idk how to change the title - It's about how to get my own recharge time ig? Her splitting is worse and it's wearing on me.

[kells76]

Apologies - idk how to change the title - It's about how to get my own recharge time ig? Her splitting is worse and it's wearing on me.

(no worries, feel free to PM [private message] a staff member, and we can assist with title edits, typos, etc)