Work from home

[dtkm]

Ugh, it’s been a rough day!  As background, my uBPDh  currently lives at both our house and a townhouse that is actually one of our rental properties. 2 weeks ago, he would stay at the townhouse and only come over on Tuesday and Thursday to pick our s7 from school since I was at work. If he was in a good mood he would stay the night, for however long that lasted and would leave when he was in a bad mood…that could be a day or a week.  Over winter break there was a fire at our kids school making it so they had to go to a different school. My h works full time from home, I work part time as well as 2 PRN positions.  My h has decided that I need to work more, so he just doesn’t pay for anything any longer, until he is in a good mood and then he pays for everything for that time period, meaning dinner, groceries stuff like that, I still get left with all of the house bills.  So I picked up the 2 prn positions as I can’t afford life right now. But…of course he doesn’t like it when I leave for work, accuses me of having affair after affair at work, etc and makes it close to impossible for me to work. There has been numerous times that he has backed out watching the kids with less than 12 hours before I have to work or he makes it so that it’s miserable for me to leave saying “have fun with you man” etc or freaking out making it so he knows I won’t leave my kids at home with him as they are all afraid. . I finally found a babysitter that can come to our house and is willing to pick our d5 up from school and our s7. Meaning, he could sleepover when he is in a good mood, take the kids to school, then he can go to his townhome to work, let the babysitter pick the kids up from school and babysit until I get home from work then he can come back over once he finishes work and be a part of our lives, dinner, sports, all activities. Instead, he told me today, that he is going to work from our house and be at the house when the babysitter is there, which I specifically told him no to earlier…and he agreed!  Now, he wants to take the kids to school, go to the gym come back to the house to work, pick our d5 up and bring her back to the house where the babysitter will watch her while he works there. Then the babysitter will leave when he picks out s7 up from school and then he will leave when I get home and then come back at 10pm in the night and do it all over again. It makes no sense!  But he is so dead set that this is an amazing idea, and just keeps telling me that I am not being considerate of his time, as he doesn’t have time to drive back to his townhouse to work so must stay to work at our house. If he was a normal person, that would e fine, but since he is not, I am sure this will be used as control. He has done this before and ended up getting fired from his job and the babysitter quit in 2 weeks!  How do I point this out to him that this is a horrible idea!  His comments are so far from reality that I had to tell him that we needed to end the conversation for the time being and refuse to it when we could do so productively. I just want to scream right now!!! 

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

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