Finally Making Sense of What Never Made Sense

[used2baShyFilly]

Just found this site.  I recently read Stop Walking on Eggshells and FINALLY all the confusion and pain in my marriage makes sense.  No doubt my husband has BPD and NPD.  Forty years of the same arguments, highs and lows, mind games, feeling like I'm the only one trying to make sense of it all. 

Right now I am in the process, a lifetime process I'm sure, of changing my thinking and responses, trying to balance accepting that HE is the way he is and he's probably not going to change much,  (we are in our early 60s!)with what about the rest of my life?  We also have an adult daughter with PTSD, I know that's not what this site is about, but there are similarities and any coping skills and more I can learn will help life with both of them.

That's my short introduction.  I am excited to read other posts. 

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[SuperDaddy]

Hi used2baShyFilly, and welcome to the family!

I started reading books on BPD about 10 years ago because of my ex-wife, and I'm still learning more and trying to further understand it. I gave up on my ex, but not on my current wife, who also has BPD but is worth fighting for. That doesn't mean, though, that I can live with her. I can't. We now live apart.

I'll wait for the treatments to make her aggressive symptoms go into remission before bringing her back.

Things get worse when both partners are together all of the time. Have you or he retired recently or begun to work from home?