> new here

[Sanch@2017]

Hi,
I live in DFW area and am a gay male, 60 years.  Married to a BPD who is 35 for 10 years.  I am done with this relationship.  I no longer feel the feelings that i used to feel and am just done.  However, I discovered the SWOE book and workbook and see that 99%applies to my spouse. I am afraid to leave.

So i am in a learning mode and seeking clarity, wisdom, and comradery.

Thanks!

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Mutt]

Hi Sanch@2017,

Welcome to BPDFamily. I’m really glad you found us.

It sounds like you’ve already started doing some reading and reflection. A lot of members here first arrive after coming across Stop Walking on Eggshells, and many say the same thing you did, that it felt like the book was describing their own relationship. It can be a powerful moment of clarity.

I moved your post over to the Bettering a Relationship board since you mentioned you are still in the relationship right now. That section tends to be the best place to start when someone is trying to understand the dynamics and learn some new tools while still involved.

Please feel free to look around the other boards as well and participate wherever something resonates with you. Many members read across several sections as they learn and figure out what fits their situation.

It sounds like you’re in a learning mode and looking for clarity and wisdom. You’ll find many people here who have walked a similar path and are working through the same questions.

When you feel ready, you might share a little more about what has been the hardest part of the relationship lately, or what makes leaving feel frightening right now.

Again, welcome. I’m glad you’re here.

Mutt