unbelievable

[BPDstinks]

What kind of short straw did I draw!  I have TWO (I use the term family member loosely) my daughter has BPD (I have written books about HER) my granddaughters' (NO relation to me (my son's "fling" (his daughter is my blood relation, I have taken all 4 "under my wing" and call them my grandchildren, the 2nd oldest I am very close to) mother has BPD; I have dealt with her for 8 1/2 years, back and forth, "you can see the kids, you can't see the kids, on & on" (the longest stretch of no contact was 10 days) way back in the beginning I cried and begged; fast forward, they live very close to me, I see them very often; she is on baby #4 and her moods are OUT of control....I pretty much "lay low", however, there have been 2 episodes back to back that have me REELING (basically, she will change the plans with the kids so much, that I get confused) (I work full time, at a very hectic job) or she will call me, while I am at work & ask me ridiculous favors (can I take a break to come & jump her car (at 7 am (I start work at 7 am) and when I cannot do these things, than I am "not allowed to see the kids" (her words, "I only want to do the fun things" (there is so much crazy talk, I could go on for days"; this past Friday, was easy peasy....take my oldest granddaughter to get her nails done (I don't think a 10 year old needs this, but...) and dinner), 4 phone calls later, I end up taking the "friend" (the friend NEVER has money, the friend's mother is never anywhere to be found) the friend is IN my car with NO money, so, I call granddaughters mom, saying, where is the money (I will pay for a burger here & there but...nails? I don't get my nails done....) oh my goodness, the heavens above opened up (this turned into a litany of I ruined a bday party (in January, (that I took over b/c she was SO nervous) (an overnight pool party (these girls were SO bad the manager called me, yes, I was very nervous) etc. on & on, it was like everything she said was HER, (I was disorganized (I am NOT) confused (not) poor (not), etc.  I was literally so frazzled at the end of this...it makes me want to NOT see the kids & I love these kids, she did the I can see them once a month, because I am do disorganized with the plans (I offered to take them to the zoo...it does not get much easier than that) I am to the point, I am just going to wait, if she offers, does anyone know HOW to deal with such a person? this is the worst she has acted in the 8+ years (I do not doubt is is hormones) (oh, and she is moving, AGAIN, for the 10th!) time....it was just hurtful and cruel (I hate to EVER say, the other 3 are NOT related to me, but....I feel like my fighting to see them is falling thin

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[wantmorepeace]

I'm so sorry!!!  Serious short straw.  Do you have support?