Needing encouragement &support to get healthy whether or not my son chooses to

[JsMom]

Hi, I've been gone from here for about 6 months. My swubpd went from broke and suicidal in Oct. to find a very good job. In my fantasy world, that was all he needed to be ok. From what I saw he was managing life well for about 4 months at which time he called in a panic because of mismanaging money. When I say panic I mean frantic, all logic and rational thinking out the window. So, in true form I panic and rescue with rent money.
I've been in therapy since October and I'm finally understanding my son isn't the problem. I don't allow myself to be manipulated and taken advantage of because of his pain. It's my pain at seeing him hurting, scared.... that stops me from setting the boundaries I want to set boundaries and know it's important for his growth and mine. He's 45. He's intelligent and has always had a job or started a career. I love him yet this illness creates such chaos. My husband,  not his biological Dad is at the end of his rope with me letting myself be taken advantage of.  So, I'm here to practice and set boundaries on my money, ridiculously long amounts of time on the phone trying to calm and reason with my son who isn't in a state to do that at that time. He has said a couple weeks ago that he wants therapy.  I'm not sure he's serious,  but the only thing I want to help pay for is good DBT therapy. I'll be reading posts and articles available. Thanks

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[JsMom]

I want to add to my post, asking a question.  Has anyone really struggled with setting boundaries? Such as giving financially where you short yourself and the pwbpd overspends, doesn't budget..
I know in my head this is very unhealthy. My heart feels like I'm being cruel if I don't  "help".  I hate that I feel stuck and afraid. 
Has anyone been able to make this change?  And how did you do it?