Sad, grief, confused

[WhisperingWings]

Not sure where to start. Just sad, confused and utterly broken as to why my mother never sought help. Tired of being crisis manager and sad it continues to tear our family apart. Feel alone and confused

[wantmorepeace]

Hello, WhisperingWings.  One of the tragedies of bpd is that people who have it are so resistant to getting care. It's part of their overall resistance to acknowledging that they might need to change as opposed to other people.

I'm glad you are posting on this forum. It has helped me feel less alone and confused.

[Pushover_Pleaser]

I can assure you, you are not alone. Especially not here, this site has helped me so much when dealing with my sister with UBPD. From someone who is now out of the picture, I feel so much more free. You realize who can divulge information and express emotions to. Keep those people close to you, unfortunately that is no one in my family. It is my fiance and my friends. Sometimes the family you choose is more powerful than the one you come from. I love my family, don't get me wrong, they are incredible. That being said, distance helps me a lot. I still maintain frequent contact with my parents and others, but my sister and I have not spoken in 4 months. She stopped contact with me and that was fine with me... The way this site has helped me get through the grief and the overthinking is amazing. All of these people can relate in some way shape or form that can help you process. I have done some reading and for a while I had to keep myself distracted. \

It is unfair for you to feel like you are the crisis management for someone who wont get the help they need. Your mother is an adult and it is not your job to hold her hand and justify her behavior. Trust me, I used to do the same thing with my older sister. Always making excuses for when she treated me like _____, saying, oh shes just mad but she didn't mean it. ________ that... focus on you and get some peace. Family is everything to me so it hurt like a SOB when I had to pull back, but it was so worth it.