Update from: Re: new bf says he makes ex's sign an NDA

[anonymousgf]

I just found out that my boyfriend has been lying about his identity from the beginning of our relationship. I have questioned his job and he faked a deposit to prove he was employed at this somewhat elite company. He left his ChatGPT open on my laptop and I saw him asking it about how to fake a deposit for the human eye and asking specifically for that company. These messages were back in April, 2025 in the same feed discussing his ex who was also suspicious of the same thing. We were dating in April, and I guess he cheated on her and was trying to get her back at the same time we were dating. He has created a persona of being a wealthy man, and his ChatGPT history shows a somewhat weird fascination with "elitism" and how to fit into that category. I contacted his ex and she said, "I truly have no idea who he is, how he makes money, etc. and I think he probably lied about most things he told me about him during our relationship." I feel like I am going crazy. I don't have friends in my area and I am so scared to be alone but I know I can't stay with this man that I don't even know. I don't think that I will ever trust anyone again.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[anonymousgf]

To be clear, the ex I contacted is different from the one he was discussing on ChatGPT. I also found out that he has been traveling to RVA since May when he has been telling me that he is going to NYC. He said that he was seeing his dad and didnt want to tell anyone, but why lie about where you are going for so long?

[ForeverDad]

I can't imagine how much more it would take for you to end things once and for all.  Apparently telling lies is what he does.  We don't need to know more than that to listen... "Danger, Will Robinson!"  (Lost in Space reference)

There are old fables, different versions but all have the same motto, whether it is a rattlesnake seeking to come in from the cold or a scorpion trying to hitch a ride on a frog's back to cross a stream, the end result is that the snake or scorpion shows its true colors.  It is up to us not be lulled by the lies.

[Under The Bridge]

I don't think that I will ever trust anyone again.

He's ruining your present; don't let him ruin your future too. Easy to say I know but he's one bad apple out of millions of healthy, normal ones.

There is so much more than BPD going on with him, he's a total Walter Mitty in his own 'I am elite' world. I know this is the 'bettering a reationship' thread but what possible advice can be given faced with someone like him??  At least BPD's can have some periods of near-normality which makes it worth persevering.

Only way I can see to 'better' this relationship is to end it. You must put your own needs first.

[Notwendy]

I know nothing about your BF other than what is posted here but the fake identity and money that comes from an unknown source is giving me "catfish" vibes.

Also, the NDA- did he actually produce one, or come up with the 20K? That sounds like it could be BS. "I am a mysterious wealthy man and will do things you can not speak about". Unless he's a Hollywood celebrity who doesn't want his business in the tabloids, this sounds like either BS or if legit- a scary situation as you don't know what he'd do that you can't talk about to anyone. And you'd know it if he was a celebrity. He's not one.

At this point, it's up to you to decide if you want to continue being with someone you can not trust, but these are concerning issues.

[CC43]

One last thought:  pwBPD tend to have a fragile and changing sense of identity. They can also hold delusional beliefs. I’ve seen this with the pwBPD in my life, when she seems to « try on » different identities that are not really based on reality.  She’ll say she’s a model, but hasn’t earned a cent modeling. She’ll say she’s an artist, but doesn’t have a portfolio. She’ll say on her resume and socials that she’s moving to New York, but after five years she’s not any closer to doing that.

Then there’s the opposite side of the delusional thinking, the dark side. She claims a long history of being abused. She’s « homeless ». Her entire family is evil. She’ll make some thinly veiled threats.

To pwBPD, feelings feel like facts. And so you need to take everything with a grain of salt. Typically, the feelings behind the stories have some validity, whereas the fact patterns can be distorted, sometimes wildly so.