I Still Have Work To Do On Setting Healthy Boundaries

[Depression = 72% of members]

I was out of town for several weeks. A woman who walks in the same park as I do on a regular basis had been talking to me about her problems. I listened and tried to be nice. When I returned from vacation, I saw her two times and was unavailable to talk with her as I was busy catching up with someone else, so I just said hello. The third time I ran into her, I was walking with another person, introduced her to this person. She got mad, said "I thought I was number one with you." then proceeded to start to tell me some gossip. She never acknowledged the person I introduced her to. I walked away with the other person.

I now know I am in for it. She had previously shared with me for several months how angry she was with this married man who tried to go out with her. I now feel she is likely borderline, and mistakes relationships for being much closer than they actually are. I am sure to be targeted for a smear campaign.

I take responsibility for having extremely poor boundaries with her. I listened to her telling me things like she had been sexually molested as a child. I listened to her gossip about this married man who is extremely angry with her, who no longer speaks to me.

All of this is a reenactment of my listening to my mother with BPD for hours on end, telling me all kinds of inappropriate things in which the conversation was one long one sided rant. Time to get back to working on my boundaries while weathering the discomfort of regularly running into her on my daily walk in the park.

[zachira]

I was out of town for several weeks. A woman who walks in the same park as I do on a regular basis had been talking to me about her problems. I listened and tried to be nice. When I returned from vacation, I saw her two times and was unavailable to talk with her as I was busy catching up with someone else, so I just said hello. The third time I ran into her, I was walking with another person, introduced her to this person. She got mad, said "I thought I was number one with you." then proceeded to start to tell me some gossip. She never acknowledged the person I introduced her to. I walked away with the other person.

I now know I am in for it. She had previously shared with me for several months how angry she was with this married man who tried to go out with her. I now feel she is likely borderline, and mistakes relationships for being much closer than they actually are. I am sure to be targeted for a smear campaign.

I take responsibility for having extremely poor boundaries with her. I listened to her telling me things like she had been sexually molested as a child. I listened to her gossip about this married man who is extremely angry with her, who no longer speaks to me.

All of this is a reenactment of my listening to my mother with BPD for hours on end, telling me all kinds of inappropriate things in which the conversation was one long one sided rant. Time to get back to working on my boundaries while weathering the discomfort of regularly running into her on my daily walk in the park.