Trying to understand and accept.

[Depression = 72% of members]

I’m wondering how common it is for pwBPD to completely misrepresent my helpful actions and kind supportive intentions and turn them into me being a demon. Being a control freak, trying to destroy her, belittle her, close her down,  being manipulative etc. actually think of any negative adjective, I have been called them all. And they are so convinced they are right. One then wonders why they would keep coming back if you are so horrid. They convince themselves so much they leave and block you ,with no concept of discussion or forgiveness or understanding of their own actions. And always blame me. I think I have received the occasional blanket apology but I’m not sure it was genuine or understood the actions they had done. And the hurt they had caused. They can’t ever see their bit in the story either.  Is this typical?

[Prouncer]

I’m wondering how common it is for pwBPD to completely misrepresent my helpful actions and kind supportive intentions and turn them into me being a demon. Being a control freak, trying to destroy her, belittle her, close her down,  being manipulative etc. actually think of any negative adjective, I have been called them all. And they are so convinced they are right. One then wonders why they would keep coming back if you are so horrid. They convince themselves so much they leave and block you ,with no concept of discussion or forgiveness or understanding of their own actions. And always blame me. I think I have received the occasional blanket apology but I’m not sure it was genuine or understood the actions they had done. And the hurt they had caused. They can’t ever see their bit in the story either.  Is this typical?

[Pook075]

It's very common, especially during a final discard, because the BPD truly believes that you're working against them and/or trying to harm them.  In many ways it's at the heart of the mental illness and one of the easiest traits to recognize. 

Every person here has expeirenced it at least once- often it happens many times from the same BPD.  Why?  Because after being "written off", some time passes and the BPD returns all happy and giddy, with no idea why they ever left in the first place.  But the same cycle appears in the relationship until a final discard happens all over again...often faster than the time before.

The super good parts of the relationship and the terrible endings all stem from the same thing; disordered thinking and seeing things in absolutes (the person of interest is all good, all bad, etc).  When you're seen as good, in their eyes you can do no wrong.  When you're seen as bad, you can't do anything right.  That's the crux of the sickness.