My Borderline/Covert Narcissist/Alcoholic Husband

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I left my husband 6 or so weeks ago. I'm struggling with the aftermath of living with the emotional and psychological abuse; the projection mostly.  Everything got so twisted when he started drinking heavily in the last 6 months of being together. When I found out he was having affairs I left. He didn't try to win me back. I have gone no contact with him and am not checking up on him anymore. I think Im suffering from PTSD. I am seeing a counselor and it helps but I am hyper vigilant in my efforts to be guarded and it's messing me up! I just got a job and the managers sat me down to tell me my body language and defensive attitude are not giving a good impression. I'm questioning myself now, like I always do. I'm a really friendly person so this is strange for me. I haven't cried a lot in the past few weeks. I wonder if it's hurting me to avoid the pain and go straight for healing. I've definitely put walls up. I'm realizing how much damage has been done. Struggling... .

[Emmanuel6222]

I left my husband 6 or so weeks ago. I'm struggling with the aftermath of living with the emotional and psychological abuse; the projection mostly.  Everything got so twisted when he started drinking heavily in the last 6 months of being together. When I found out he was having affairs I left. He didn't try to win me back. I have gone no contact with him and am not checking up on him anymore. I think Im suffering from PTSD. I am seeing a counselor and it helps but I am hyper vigilant in my efforts to be guarded and it's messing me up! I just got a job and the managers sat me down to tell me my body language and defensive attitude are not giving a good impression. I'm questioning myself now, like I always do. I'm a really friendly person so this is strange for me. I haven't cried a lot in the past few weeks. I wonder if it's hurting me to avoid the pain and go straight for healing. I've definitely put walls up. I'm realizing how much damage has been done. Struggling... .

[infjEpic]

I just got a job and the managers sat me down to tell me my body language and defensive attitude are not giving a good impression.

Sounds like a crap manager!... .Someone is quiet - scold them for their quietness - because that will really help their confidence! *rollseyes*

Can you elaborate on what this body language and defensive attitude were described to you as?

Regardless, don't stress about it.
You can change it.

[Emmanuel6222]

It's all good now, but I appreciate your reply. I went in to work and left my emotional baggage at home where it belongs. I was more productive and actually had fun, and my managers noticed and complimented me on my efforts to overcome my challenges. I won't let my BPD soon-to-be-ex-husband continue to control and destroy my life. I have a therapist who I've been working with for the time we've been separated and it helps so much! So validating, and I'm learning a lot about myself as well.