Fairness-How Ironic

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

I am doing pretty well these days after my divorce from exBPDw.  50/50 parenting and she is nearly 100% NC due to new boyfriend.

Yesterday she started getting on me about money.  She makes a bit more than I do and I did not seek child support or anything else (I paid about a 5% "fee" to her to get divorced as it was nasty and I just wanted out).  I am fine with her wish that I split everything spent for the kids even though I make less and am paying their insurance 100%... .but when she started harping about it I got really angry.  I almost sent her a long text about "fairness" that involved all the sixteen years of treatment and horrors that she put me through.  It was quite the therapeutic text.  I decided not to send it but I realized that I have not dealt with what has now become anger over the relationship and my treatment during those years.  In other words, I'm really angry.

Not sure how to deal with that (therapy?).  Or will I just get over it with time.

[Torched]

I am doing pretty well these days after my divorce from exBPDw.  50/50 parenting and she is nearly 100% NC due to new boyfriend.

Yesterday she started getting on me about money.  She makes a bit more than I do and I did not seek child support or anything else (I paid about a 5% "fee" to her to get divorced as it was nasty and I just wanted out).  I am fine with her wish that I split everything spent for the kids even though I make less and am paying their insurance 100%... .but when she started harping about it I got really angry.  I almost sent her a long text about "fairness" that involved all the sixteen years of treatment and horrors that she put me through.  It was quite the therapeutic text.  I decided not to send it but I realized that I have not dealt with what has now become anger over the relationship and my treatment during those years.  In other words, I'm really angry.

Not sure how to deal with that (therapy?).  Or will I just get over it with time.

[vortex of confusion]

I don't have any words of wisdom. I am hoping to follow your thread to see what kinds of advice you get. I thought I had a grip on my anger. Now, I am feeling a lot of anger because he is reaching out to me and trying to be responsible and helpful and he is telling me how much he misses me and the kids. He wasn't saying that stuff last year when I kicked him out. Now, it feels like he is only saying this stuff because he lost his free ride a few months ago. He lived with his "friend" for the last year, rent free. He got kicked out when his friend was arrested. Now that he had to get his own place and doesn't have anybody, he is crying to me about missing me and the kids and telling me how badly he messed up.