Overwhelmed

[Gracie0521]

Hi All,
I'm new on here and needing support.
I am in love with a borderline man. He promised to get help. I moved across the country for him. Then proceeded to move home because it just got out of control. He is now paying the big bucks and attending. He wants me to go back. I would like to I am nervous that hevis just putting me on the pedestal that i don't like to bhe on because I have left. I am nervous he is expressing desire for us too much and when i get home he will just flip back to the other guy embarrassed that he opened up too me so much and allowed himself to so freely express love for me. I love him ... I would love to know how to avert the "___ show". I want us to stable out so bad... .we have been on an eight month roller coaster. I'm starting to feel borderline.
I love him very much! I want it to work... my family and friends really do not like him ( well they did in the beginning before he was triggered) I'm also afraid of losing them. I am just so overwhelmed at this juncture... .such a mess was made. He's taking counsellig serious finally and wants to do counselling with me. I want to I want us to succeed... but I am torn vetween thoughts of love for him... and hope for us ... .and the thought of "what am I thinking?"... .I know i'm not the only one out there that has been in my shoes, or had to face this. How did you two overcome?

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[nicholas]

I'm in the same situation except I'm a male with BPD female. I am trying to trust my family and my gut. I think you are here because you don't want the chaos to continue either. Good luck with your "choice". Remember that your opinion is extremely important too. (I'm telling myself that as well)

[allienoah]

I'm in a similar situation. My bfwBPD is in family DBT therapy, yet he uses none of the skills when it comes to me. I have gotten wise to what his triggers are, but unfortunately his triggers are my kids, my family, my friends and any time I mention traveling or spending extended time with them. He used to tell me he would have anxiety attacks if he couldn't reach me by phone. I became hypervigilant to everything about him. I walk on eggshells everyday and bury parts of myself. Why do I do this? Logically, I am clear I should tell him to get lost. I love the man. The good part of him is so good. But I relate to what you say "putting you on a pedestal" as that is how I get "lovebombed". It feels good and fills a void for us. I am trying to learn self-validation so I don't fall prey to this anymore. The less attention I give to his rants and raves, the better I will feel. Of course, this always results in him breaking up with me. Predictably, he contacts within days/hours and asks ME what we are doing! it's just crazy. I understand how hard it must be for you when your family and friends don't like him. Mine hate my bf and refuse to be around him, and therefore me.