Intro: Realizing my husband has BPD

[learningtohope]

Hello,

Over the course of the last year, I'm realizing that my husband has BPD. We're currently separated while we each seek our own counseling, but I remain hopeful that we might have a future healthy relationship together. I am also aware that this might not be our reality. So far, he is seeking therapy and knows that there is something wrong, but the diagnosis of BPD hasn't really surfaced in his conversations with professionals. I believe from his perspective, he's been misdiagnosed with so much that BPD just seems another name on a long list of possibilities. He's confused and hurting so much so I want to be patient as he works through this. However, I am currently living several hours away and looking at longer term rentals so that I can have my own safe space to heal and grow on my own.

I'm glad to know that support groups like this exist. It feels so vital as I begin to walk this journey.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[heartandwhole]

Hi learningtohope,



I'm very glad that you joined the community. You are definitely not alone. You'll find members here who are, or have been, in similar situations and understand what you are going through. The site also has tons of tools to help make things better. And things really can get better.

I'm sorry that your husband feels confused and hurting. It's hard to know that something is wrong, but get various and conflicting answers from professionals.

How are you dealing with the separation, learningtohope?

I think finding a safe place for yourself to heal and grow is a great idea. Self-care is so important in these kinds of relationships.

Keep writing, it really helps. We are here to support you. 

heartandwhole