Hey  :)ontGiveUpOnMe: I'm sorry for the situation with your mom. It sounds unpleasant.
I still live apart but weve been in contact since earlier in the year, I've helped her out financially here and there, helped her with small things, and shes helped me. Randomly out of nowhere she still goes through interrogations. She starts sending me thousands of messages saying im Evil, I'm talking to everyone... .I wish I had time to talk as much as she says I do.
It might be helpful for you to have a few "I" Statements handy.
I found the 19-minute video at the link below a helpful tutorial for using "I" Statements:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDExNRJCUp0The template and sample below could be helpful as well.How To Use I-Statements:
Start by identifying how you feel: mad, sad, frustrated, etc.
I feel __________
State the reason you feel this way or what happened that led you to those feelings.
when __________
Try to identify the reason the person’s actions led to those feelings for you.
because __________
Let the person know what you want instead.
I would like __________ .
Example:
Your spouse snaps at you during dinner and it really hurt your feelings. Here’s an I-statement to use with this scenario:
I feel hurt when you snap at me like that because I worked hard to cook this nice dinner for us. I would like you to use nicer words and tone with me, and to know if something happened today that has led you to be in a bad mood.
Check out the video and the template above. Additionally, a couple of samples appear below. They might give you an idea about a type of statement that might apply to your situation. What might your version be? Take a crack at it and see what you come up with.
Sample 1I love you and I want our conversations to be respectful and supportive. I can see that you are having a bad day. Therefore, I'm going to end this conversation. I look forward to speaking to you when we can both enjoy a respectful conversation.
Sample 2I want to have a respectful conversation with you, but I can tell you are upset. I'm going to end this conversation for now. I look forward to (talking, texting, exchanging emails), when you are feeling better.
Are the interrogations only by text, or are some of them by phone? How have you reacted in the past, when you get so many texts?
After looking at/listening to the video and looking over the other "I" statement information, what might your version be (or can you use an example as is)?
After sending an "I" statement by text, can you take steps to temporarily block her texts, phone calls, etc, until she gets control over herself? How long does she carry on with the texting? (days, weeks?)