Running Away after Intimacy | Quick Advice Needed

[wonderingwonder]

Hi all!

My ex wBPD and I just reunited (very) suddenly after nearly a year of being apart. The truth is, neither one of us has ever loved anyone more in our entire lives and admittedly so on both accounts. We always had intentions on reuniting when we were in better places.

She showed up at my apartment the other day out of the blue and we caught up for a bit. After this, she came clean about *everything* regarding her reasons for running away from me, etc. She then opened up about how she's never felt this way about anyone in her life and how embarrassed she was about her behavior. She essentially cited fear and self hatred/immaturity as the main reason, but said she now was not perfect, but doing much better. After this, we had sex, which I hear is an incredibly intense experience for pwBPD.

She left items of hers at my apartment and told me to text her before she left, so I know she had every intention of returning. The issue is, I did text her that day but am yet to hear back.

It is literally impossible that she failed to respond because she doesn't care or has "changed her mind" since admittedly these were all things she has been strongly feeling but repressing for a year. She has had sex with me and then run away in the past, so I cannot say that I am all too surprised. Of course, we would eventually speak afterward.

I have not texted her again and am giving her space to process -- this time around I want to be a much better support system for her and not make her anxious by hovering or suffocating her. On the other hand, I would like to let her know that we don't *have* to go that quickly all of sudden and could certainly take a few (or many) steps back, but perhaps it's better for me to give her time and stay silent for now. I know even I am still processing everything that happened and I was only the listener!

Any feedback and/or advice on this situation would be well appreciated 

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[heartandwhole]

Hi wonderingwonder,



I can understand wanting to give pwBPD space after that quick reunion. On the other hand, you want her to know that you are there for her.

How have things evolved since you posted this? Did you get in touch and how are things going between you?

heartandwhole