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How to communicate after a contentious divorce... Following a contentious divorce and custody battle, there are often high emotion and tensions between the parents. Research shows that constant and chronic conflict between the parents negatively impacts the children. The children sense their parents anxiety in their voice, their body language and their parents behavior. Here are some suggestions from Dean Stacer on how to avoid conflict.
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Author Topic: unBPDex made contact after 1 month  (Read 643 times)
mar356
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
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« on: March 20, 2017, 07:32:01 AM »
unBPDex made contact after a few months of not hearing from her.  I'm not really looking to get recycled but would like to remain cordial.  It is like they have a six sense and know exactly when to contact you out of the blue.

In brief: Started to date a new girl and she got depressed and shut down and stonewalled me out of the blue.  Not sure why they do this I think it is a defense mechanism?  Than after feeling down about this I get a message from the BPDex.

Also, how would you approach the BPDex just ignore?

Any help would be wonderful.
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« Reply #1 on: March 20, 2017, 09:46:11 AM »
can you elaborate a bit on the nature of her contact? whatd she say?
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     and I think it's gonna be all right; yeah; the worst is over now; the mornin' sun is shinin' like a red rubber ball…
mar356
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« Reply #2 on: March 20, 2017, 10:03:19 AM »
"can you elaborate a bit on the nature of her contact? whatd she say?"

Just had a unexpected accident/crash that day and reached out to me... Than started making small talk with me... .
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« Reply #3 on: March 20, 2017, 10:05:45 AM »
okay. so whats your goal? you want a friendship, or just to be cordial?
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     and I think it's gonna be all right; yeah; the worst is over now; the mornin' sun is shinin' like a red rubber ball…
mar356
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« Reply #4 on: March 20, 2017, 10:10:02 AM »
Quote from: once removed on March 20, 2017, 10:05:45 AM
okay. so whats your goal? you want a friendship, or just to be cordial?

To be cordial.  I don't know if this is a pattern they use to recycle?  They get close with someone else than as they get too close they pull away and recycle the ex it seems.
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« Reply #5 on: March 20, 2017, 10:13:49 AM »
a recycle takes two willing parties.

do you want to revive the relationship?
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     and I think it's gonna be all right; yeah; the worst is over now; the mornin' sun is shinin' like a red rubber ball…
mar356
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« Reply #6 on: March 20, 2017, 10:44:41 AM »
"do you want to revive the relationship?"

Not at this time.
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« Reply #7 on: March 20, 2017, 10:47:06 AM »
okay. then her intentions are irrelevant as far as your actions are concerned.

a cordial response looks to me, something like "yikes, im so sorry to hear that! hope youre okay!"
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