Welcome Littletwin: I'm so sorry about your sister. I have sister trouble as well but she is 2 years older than me. There have been a couple others posting within the last few months about non identical twins with BPD.
Fortunately my twin is high functioning and manages in public to present as the lively and attractive person she can be. Sadly to my Mum and I, privately, we get the selfish and unkind side - the person who has been abandoned and a martyr in life.
Unfortunately, people with BPD (pwBPD) tend to hold in their emotions in public and let them flow freely where they feel the most comfortable, around family. It took me awhile to accept that fact.
Sadly to my Mum and I, privately, we get the selfish and unkind side - the person who has been abandoned and a martyr in life.
It must have been hurtful that she didn't tell you about her pregnancy with your nephew. Were you in contact at all during her pregnancy? Do you think it might play into her martyrdom and abandonment issues. Sometimes pwBPD, who have a fear of abandonment, will initiate the abandoning.
I would ask those thinking of getting therapy jointly to please be careful as it may be manipulated to come back on you
Did you attempt therapy with your sister, that didn't turn out well?
We can't change our sisters. The only power we have is to manage ourselves the best we can, by setting and enforcing boundaries and using some strategic communication skills.
There is a "Lessons" section, tacked towards the top of this message board section, there is a lot of information there to check out. There is also, a "tools" menu, within the large green band at the top of the page.
We look forward to hearing more of your story and perhaps recommending some specific lessons.
We look forward to hearing more of your story, when you are ready to share.
