The Court would like for each parent to present evidence on what steps

[Sluggo]

The Court would like for each parent to present evidence on what steps can be taken to improve communication between the parents.  The Court would also like to hear evidence on how the parents intend to remove the children from being in the middle of conflicts and hopefully lessen the anxiety being felt by the children as a result of being placed in the middle of those conflicts.

Has anyone gotten this type of request before.  We are in the middle of our final hearing.  It ran over on Friday and now it is set to finish in April.  But got this from the court... . 

Any ideas

[takingandsending]

This sounds like the court is look at parenting behavior v. personal behavior, which should be a positive for you. Can you show evidence of specific actions you have taken that: a) consider your kids first, b) reduce burden on your kids, c) propose solutions to conflicts? Some examples: Have you been in support of kids getting therapy, which would lessen anxiety of being in middle of conflicts? Have you proposed discussions be handled in writing only? Have you proposed pick up and drop off in neutral settings? I would present these sorts of things  as evidence of steps that you have taken/are taking to reduce conflict and keep kids out of harm's way.

Have you spoken with your attorney about how to best present all of the things that you have probably been doing all along?

[david]

I had a custody hearing. The judge said he was not going to make a decision until both parents submitted what they wanted. We each had two weeks and then the judge would make his decision a week later.
I spelled out 14 points. The first one was father have primary custody of the children. The judge denied that.
The other points spelled out in detail how things were to be handled.
All communication through email. Emails should pertain only to the children. Ex does not follow that one too well but I do not reply to anything that does not pertain to our boys.
All holidays and how they were divided. I rotated them year to year. The Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter holiday I split 50/50. The odd day was rotated year to year.
All children's belongings are allowed to go from house to house without interference from either parent.
ROFR was to be done through email. An agreement is reached when both parents agree in their respective emails. Once an agreement is reached it can not be changed unless another email agreement is reached with both parents consent.
I addressed every problem I was having and gave a solution. In also said something like any changes to this order can be made by both parents agreeing in an email exchange. This covered unforeseeable things. When ever I use this I make sure I spell out that this is a one time change and only for that one time.
My ex gave the judge a two page ramble about how I am abusive and should not be allowed to see our kids.
The judge copied all my points except the first one and that is the majority of our current custody order. That was in 2010.
I don't have the order in front of me and I can't remember it all. I had a solution for every issue I was having and I had a solution for things I anticipated from my ex.
I never once mentioned ex or her problems. They weren't mentioned in court so I didn't see a point to that. Your situation is different in that respect and it might be a good idea to address that by having attainable benchmarks and consequences. You have to have it focused on what is best for the kids.

[Sluggo]

David and Talkingandsending,

Great points.  I will include that into my draft. 

Thank you!

[david]

My custody proposals were all with the thought that both parents have a right to see their kids. I believe the courts look for that and don't feel comfortable taking kids away from a parent UNLESS you can show the courts just cause.
I have a friend who recently got full custody of her grandson. Her son, the dad, died at a young age. The mom has issues and she refused to address them. The court gave her over a year to address the issues. She was told by the courts that she had to be subjected to drug tests. She openly admitted in court she had drug problems. She actually tried using that as an excuse in court for her behaviors. She went into several treatment programs but signed herself out before treatment was over. She failed to show up several times to see her son and the social worker documented everything. Eventually the courts told her she had no rights to her child and gave the boy to grand mom. Grand mom was told by the social worker and the courts that she does not and should not let the child see his dna mom ever. If dna mom showed up at her residence she was told to call the police and they would arrest her.
Grand mom did not ask for full custody but always stated when asked that she would assume full custody if the courts decided that. This was not the norm but it does show that courts will go that way. I believe the social workers and all the others involved were the ones the judge sided with.
I still get nasty emails but no where near the amount from years ago. I still don't reply and simply put them in a folder just in case.
Our boys were in elementary school back in 2010 and I still tried to make my points appropriate for the near term and the future. Our oldest wants nothing to do with his mom and has asked me many times if he could just live with me. Our agreement is when he goes to college he can either live at school or with me full time. I really don't want our youngest, 13 right now, to be on his own at her place.
Back in 2007, when this all started, my ex "needed" them for validation that she was right and I was evil. Now she really doesn't have a good or even decent relationship with either boy and that is of her own doing.