Hello Everyone,
I've seen many posts from members concerned they will never share a deep connection with anyone else like they did with their exBPD.
After being in a healthy relationship for a year ande a half, I am here to tell you... . You can have that deep connection and strong love for someone without BPD. The only difference is the timing of when you will have it. It won't be at the beginning of the relationship like with the ex BPD. It will come over time.
I have moments with my husband now that give me flashbacks to month 1 or 2 with the unhealthy ex. My husband and I love bomb one another daily but it wasn't like that in the beginning. We grew together slow and steady. He is my favorite person to be with, my cheerleader, my regulator and sometimes a pain in my butt. I still absolutely adore him and would love to spend every minute with his fun loving cuddly big hearted self. My love for him is so much stronger and deeper and it is consistently that way and most importantly... .the love is returned.
My point here is... .you can have all the closeness, deep connection, love that you shared with a BPD partner with someone healthy and it is so much better. You've just got to be patient and give it time to develop naturally and in a healthy manner. Don't be so eager to walk away from someone because you don't "feel it as strong as you think you should." Those type of connections SHOULD take time to develop. If you are feeling it right off the bat then maybe that should be your red flag.
DO NOT SELL YOURSELF SHORT - go after the real deal.
Bunny
