How did you meet your BPD ex?

[jambley]

So... .I will start.

I met mine in the pub a week after my father died. She said in front of me and my friends 'if any of you effers have pinched my coat I will rip your balls off.' Big red flag I know, but it was funny at the time. Yes, she was drunk. 20 mins later she invited me to her place for his sons birthday party. We went to hers and we slept together. In the morning she said 'you don't have to see me again. You won't think I'm a tramp will you.' changed my opinion since then 

[marti644]

We met through friend who introduced is because he thought we'd be a "good fit". He's regretted that decision since haha.

[jambley]

Ha! Glad you can see the funny side to it

[marti644]

Honestly, I have to laugh at some of it. The whole situation was so ridiculous in our relationship, and the way I foolishly put up with and did things I never thought I would do makes me just throw my hands up in the air. A very humbling experience that I am trying to see the lighter side to. Is helping me detach.

[jambley]

Good because that's how I feel too. I acted like a puppet and got played, but now I don't care about her. Detachment is good

[marti644]

Jamesss,

It sounds like you're pretty angry still (in this an your other posts). Which is a sign you still care. You obviously cared about this woman, regardless of how she treated you.

I deeply cared about my ex, and even after all I know there are still residual feelings. Having these feelings is good because it is a sign you have empathy and feelings. People aren't all good or all bad, especially people with BPD, it is the nature of their disorder that makes them seem this way. Your cared about you when she did, and then didn't when she raged.

Don't hide from those loving feelings as it will slow down your ability to heal in my opinion and impact your ability to trust in another relationship. By splitting them black we are no better then them in dealing with our emotions and having mentally healthy relationships.

[jambley]

Thank you Marti, I am all at sea at the moment. Mixed emotions about things, I am going to think about what you said, it makes sense.

[g2outfitter]

Met mine on an online dating site.  I've learned to be very leery of that.

[Pretty Woman]

I met mine in a women's social group I ironically run. I have 600 members in the group and I remember our first event, the air conditioning was broke at the restaurant we were all at.
She was so funny, cracking jokes and seemed very confident. We were all sweating and looking our worst and I remember being attracted to this swagger she projected.

I eventually asked HER out. That was a first for me, and likely a last.

[Huh?]

Through a mutual friend.   She said she was a long time friend who just kept meeting abusive jerks.

Eventually, that mutual friend turned her back on me when my ex fiancé cheated and broke up.

It was all my fault, apparently.   Good time.

[Idsrvt2]

He is my mail man. Knew him for four years would talk just about every day. He usually would make me laugh and chat with me for long periods of time.  I was to move off his route in feb , so in Jan I asked him out . He hid his mental issues well , but I was at a low period, not wanting to move, stressed etc.

And I was thrilled he finally agreed to go out with me.  I ended up getting more time to stay here from my landlord and I'm still here.   He was to help pack and never did instead dumped me ?i just posted my story. 

[whitebackatcha]

She contacted me privately when I posted about my discovery that my spouse had cheated on me. She wanted to be supportive, because she understood how I felt. Once I realized my marriage was over, I decided to go for it romantically with her.

We had our first major fight the same night, she broke up with me for the first time probably less than two months later. I stayed because I realized I was in love with her, and I thought love was worth fighting for.

[Sluggo]

Overseas. I think the language and culture differences Masked some of the nuances that I may have seen if I had her if in an English country

[kentavr3]

My friend introduced me to her. Characterized her as a very interesting and charming (red flag) woman, who can't find a man. And all her previous men were not good to her ( victim role). I saw all BPD traps, but I'm codependent person. I didn't believe myself and relied on my friend's opinion.