X said something that has always confused me

[hurting300]

My ex the SAME THING. The day she disappeared she said "I will always love you" and she said I want us to be together. Then boom!

[bengaltropicat]

One word explains it all: manipulation.
Remember, don't listen to what they say.  Watch what they do.
They have an exquisite ability to say exactly what you want to hear when they want something. 

[FallenOne]

Did the person you were with who did this have a diagnosis at all?

Yes. She's diagnosed with Borderline, bipolar I and PTSD. She's 24 now, diagnosed when she was 18. On a LOT of meds... Been in and out of psych hospitals every year... Been seeing a therapist and psychiatrist since she was 17. Every ex she has had since she was a teenager has experienced the same pattern as me, as I have spoken to them since the breakup.

And, take my word for it, all the meds and therapy don't do sh!t... They may balance her out a bit more sometimes, but all of the behaviors are still there regardless of her medication regimen and other treatment.

[statsattack]

My x told me she was raped and has ptsd and I treated her like a rape victim

Thanks to an actual rape victim I found out she wasn't raped n it's BPD

[Pretty Woman]

I am going to second, Duped. Mine told me (while dumping me for the replacement she had been grooming) that she wasn't going anywhere, that we would always be best friends and she loved me.

It's funny what consummate actors they are. As she cried crocodile tears while holding me... .five minutes later the building manager showed up to change her locks.

I went NC (not that she reached out at all) and have been smeared horribly to many people who believe her words. Now removed from her for two years this May I can see how dysfunctional we were. In the first place, someone who cheats on you three or more times in your relationship, threatens RO's on you when they are taking a "break" from you, is not your best friend or anywhere near the definition of simply friend.

Oh and mine also claimed to have been raped several times. I don't discredit this because I take the subject of rape seriously HOWEVER, I am not so sure that wasn't used as a sympathy tactic in the "white knighting" stage of our relationship where I was her "rescuer". Throughout our relationship the stories changed to the point she was telling me she was raped by this woman in one sentence and in the next she was describing her rapist as one of the "most beautiful people" she's ever seen.

Was I supposed to be jealous of her "rapist"? It was crazy. The whole relationship was Emmy worthy had it been a soap opera and not the remaining, precious years of my 30's.

[Swhitey]

Mine made many loving promises and idealized me, I too, also made loving promises and idealized her in return. We both choked on some of those promises. The difference however, is I chose to try to adapt and try to have some modicum of realism in her ability to meet said promises and accepted. I feel she would hold onto promises made and would openly punish me and tell me how I let her down. This triggered my own fear of abandonment, fearing that she would leave and I began to behave more and more co-dependent, draining my finances, emotional health, and physical health. I realized this more when she sent me a final email telling me all these wonderful things she thought of me, but "cries for me every day" and "wants to enter into a relationship out of desire and not need". Ouch. Talk about feeling used and chucked out. It showed me that she was manipulative and exploitative, and admiringly, I let that happen. I have come to realize that she is also very good at setting people up in these roles (I am way more apprehensive when I receive over the top compliments from someone I barely know, big red flag). Her ex-husband shared with me after the fact that his experience was quite similar. There can never be any trust, she is a trigger for me now and an unsafe person to interact with. NC is the way to go.

[artfuldodger]

It has been six years since my Ex broke up with me and his behaviour (through out the relationship and especially around our breakup) has left me so messed up in my head that I struggle to move on. I used to be a strong person with no complexes whatsoever and now I have severe trust issues. I am no longer able to take people and their words seriously.

He married behind my back while professing his undying love for me until the end, how I was a part of his soul and he couldn't even imagine a life without me. I cannot even express how devastating it was for me, when I learned about his marriage. Even after his marriage, he wrote me mails still professing his love for me. His betrayal left me so damaged, I was bedridden for more than a year. It took me more than three years to regain my physical health, but emotionally I haven't healed completely even today. I still cry myself to bed.

I loved him sincerely and in spite of how traumatic it was for me, I stood by him through everything.

I distinctly remember, twice over a period of five years, I was so hurt and empty I had reached a point where I could no longer deal with him and asked him to leave me alone. However, he begged and weeped, that if I am done with him, I am free to leave but he won't ever and won't even let me leave! That if I ever left him, he would prove it to the world what I meant to him and yet he could do all that he did to me eventually.

I believed him and everything he said, when ideally I shouldn't have.