My x was fearful of the world ending as well he had stock piles of paper towels and canned goods... one time he said they were expired but they cost too much to replace and put the expired can in the cabinet. I could not believe it. In the end he texted that he feared me and sadly never
Felt comfortable around me and now he knows why...
I replied that he fears everyone, which he does. He carried a gun most places he went
No your xs behavior is not normal and I'm sorry you have been triggered this stuff is just so complex to get your head around .
Was yours reclusive too?
Of course, no sooner do I post this I see that the US has just launched missiles against Syria. Crazy timing.
She was reclusive in that she doesn't really have any friends, the friends she did keep she didn't like.
I was her only companion... .until I wasn't. One day she just didn't want me around anymore. After the argument that had me move out, pictures of me disappeared at our house, I dissapeared off her social media. She didn't care if we saw each other during the week or on weekends. She did recently admit, it was around this time she briefly dated a "friend" that "just wanted sex". My gut was screaming that there was somebody else back then, and I was right. Since then I never spent holidays with her, as she preferred to be alone or with her family she hated.
This went on for almost three years. Of course she professed her undying love for me and couldn't wait to get married, wanted to travel with me, etc etc... .but it was just excuse after excuse because of her fears... .or whatever or whoever reason.
I finally said enough after years of doing all the traveling when we did schedule a time to see each other... .it was totally one sided. When I asked for effort on her part, she would give me the silent treatment for weeks until I caved and it would go right back to the way it was.
Last words she said to me were, "I love you and will go wherever you go". I said, "I'm not an idiot. You wouldn't even drive 50 miles to reciprocate the effort to see me on the weekends... .you really think I believe you'd follow me anywhere?"
Silence ever since.
Back to the topic... .I understand being prepared for a catastrophic event... .such as a natural disaster, or even world war 3... .but the fear was all the time.
One time visiting a small town, we split ways for about 15 minutes. When I came out of the store She knew I went to... .I found her standing in the middle of the street terrified. I asked her what was wrong... .she was angry at me for leaving her. She said she went into a coffee shop and everybody in there was eyeballing her... .and then she ran out of there and the people in town were staring at her and she couldn't find me. She was mad at me for leaving her. I was dumbfounded and once again, had to talk her down and assure her everything was okay. I walked her back to the coffee shop and she was able to get the coffee with my company.
Is this a form of trauma bonding? Because as messed up as these situations were... .and made me feel really uncomfortable... .in a weird way made me feel like her protector... .like I said earlier, like she needed me.
It was irritating one minute, but made me feel proud the next. I don't know.
Oh yeah, and like your ex with his gun... .she slept with a taser under her pillow, carried pepper spray, and also had a brass knuckle device on her key chain. She's 5 foot, 100 lbs... .I just chalked it up to her small size... .but I see there is more going on.
*Edit* Man, just reread this and I can believe what I wrote above seemed like normal life for me back then. In perspective, It's nowhere near the craziness I've read from other members here about their relationships... .but in addition to all the other stuff, just from what I wrote above my exs thinking was clearly not healthy. It helps to write it out I guess.
