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Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits. Practicing lawyer, Senior Family Mediator, and former Licensed Clinical Social Worker with twelve years’ experience and an expert on navigating the Family Court process.
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Author Topic: Dating/remarriage with BPD Son  (Read 435 times)
Cleveland77
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Posts: 2


« on: April 11, 2017, 09:59:51 AM »

I have recently divorced from my spouse with BPD traits at the least and have a 13 y/o son who very likely has BPD as well. I have done a lot of work myself and am in a good place in recovering from the wounds of my relationship and am considering what to expect from the future. As I consider dating and remarriage in the future I can't help but wonder about the ability of my BPD son to interact with step-siblings. He has a difficult time getting along with his 15 y/o brother, who is also quite irritated with him and the effort/focus required around managing his brother. I have this sense that having additional step-siblings is going to be something quite difficult for him to handle.
Anyone have any experience with BPD children and dating/remarriage with step-siblings or any information you would recommend? I've looked around the interwebs but can't seem to narrow it down enough to find anything on BPD children and step-siblings.
thanks!
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livednlearned
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Family other
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 12731



« Reply #1 on: April 11, 2017, 11:22:31 AM »

Glad to hear you are in a good place Smiling (click to insert in post)

I'm in a relationship with SO, who has a uBPD (diagnosed bipolar) D20 who stays with us for the summer.

I am also divorced from a man who is uBPD (diagnosed bipolar). My son was developing what seemed to be BPD traits, altho as of now (he is 15), there is no diagnosis.

How does your S13's BPD traits present?

I haven't found any specific resources for this, though I read the book Step Coupling and it was helpful. I took the author's advice to heart and then multiplied it due to the additional strains of having a BPD step child in the picture. The author recommends establishing strong boundaries around the newly formed adult/romantic relationship. As you can imagine, this is not easy for a BPD child.

D20 regressed to a toddler when she was with SO, and many of those regressed behaviors strained our relationship.

I am torn between wishing we kept our own homes and being glad we now live together. I admit it is much easier knowing that D20 is here only for the summers, tho when she is here I go into self-care overdrive.
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